


W I N G S   The Series Part 1: Healer's Wings

by Pavillonia



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pavillonia/pseuds/Pavillonia
Summary: I do believe we do not have to justify ourselves to other people. Including tell them about our purpose of life, our reason over something, let alone explain publicly about something so private. I do believe we shall not reveal our weakest point, except on particular circumstances. This is the story of my journey through publicly announce that I am not as strong as they thought I am. In fact, I am weak. Weaker than all of human being you’ve ever encountered with. Bonus? My weakest point return to my life after I hardly convinced myself that I am strong.





	1. OLD PAL

 

The incredible thing about Greenhollow is the scenery which matches perfectly with its name. No matter where you look, you will find nothing but green hills, green valleys, and green forests. A perfect hideout from city’s frenetic where every time you try to close your eyes there will be something prevents you to do it, either a phone call at crazy hours or a police siren in the middle of the night. Besides that, Greenhollow is my hometown, my birthplace, where I spent my twenty four years of life at home with my father and my late mother, at school with my friends, and at Greenhollow’s famous vintage coffee shop, called Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop, with my former lover. Ironically, when I finally give another visit to this place now, I’m coming alone. No parents, no friends, no lover.

Mr. Cha owns this famous place for nearly a half century and we become really close after my disoriented order fourteen years ago. I was in high school back then and had a low self-esteem whether I would make it or not to get into medical school. Mr. Cha granted my wish by serving soufflé omelette which should be ordered for breakfast and I asked it instead at 8.00 PM. He also willing to give me company and wiped my worry tears away. Fourteen years later today, I still pay Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop a visit even just for once a month if works do not hold me up or in my days off like this day. I will drive two hours from capital city Westergold all the way down to my hometown Greenhollow.

“Breakfast parfait for our fourteen years anniversary!” Mr. Cha exclaims serving me one glass of breakfast parfait and some extra blueberries like I always love, “I still remember you were crying in the corner.”

“I really have to start get in a relationship with a restaurant owner instead. It lasts longer.” I laugh.

“Speaking of relationship, you never once bring your boyfriend here. That handsome doctor you’ve always talk about.”

“Fiancé.” I correct him.

“Oh?” Mr. Cha raises his eyebrows and probably he is surprised by the sudden news, “You are really moving on, aren’t you?”

“I hate that I have to.” I say as I lean forward to grab a small spoon, “I don’t even remember the last time I saw him.”

Lie. Like _hell_ , I always remember the last time I saw him. It was six years ago. A painful, miserable, and full-of-drama break up. No matter how hard he tried to prevent me from going, my ego and my determination were too massive to handle. Being a gentleman he was, he still drove me home after our argument stated that I should be treated well even if that was his last time.

“He came here once.” Mr. Cha finally says, “After I heard you’ve got accepted as Westergold’s resident doctor.” Mr. Cha doesn’t continue his story, instead he studies my expression.

“Did he?” I reply, silently wish my curiosity doesn’t show up on my face so I look down pretend to play with my wristwatch.

“It surprises me when you said your boyfriend doctor is now your fiancé. I mean, you were having a hard time to move on, you know. I can understand when you said you have a boyfriend. But engaged?”

“What you expect from me, Mr. Cha? Waiting for him? Until my hair turn grey like yours?” I softly chuckle.

“He said he miss you.”

“That’s too many years ago, Mr. Cha. I have to move on. I am 30, he is 31. Bet he already has a family now.”

“My point is, do you still in love with him?”

“Are you crazy?!”

“Just answer me.”

I sigh, wanting to get away from this place—moreover the question—sooner, but the look of his eyes traps me. I can’t go away before I give him an answer. Deep down, the question is already answered. However, my mouth doesn’t want me to reveal it and _fuck_ , Mr. Cha always know the answer. He always does.

“You need a miracle, my dear angel.” Mr. Cha says, breaking the silence as a customer summons him, “He didn’t leave me any clue about his whereby.”

With a bag of three health wraps Mr. Cha gives me and a nice warm hug, I leave the coldness of Greenhollow—and hopefully the emptiness of my heart too—, passing the highway about two hours long before make it safe at my apartment. With a sigh, I throw myself above the bed and give my father a call to tell him I’m already at my apartment before someone else phones me. Well, not just someone else it’s from the hospital.

“Dr. Lee?” The other line says.

“Yeah, it’s her.” I sit up straight hearing an urgent tone on nurse’s voice while I’m maintaining my composure.

“Dr. Park needs you.” She says again slightly shaking.

I frown, “Which Park? Flower Park? Pet Park?” I try to make a joke to calm her down as I also grab my coat randomly before leaving the apartment.

“Your fiancé.”

I stand still for a moment and smile disappears from my face. For a brilliant doctor like he is—not to mention a cocky one too—, it’s unnecessary to have another surgical doctor to assist him but when he does there is only one major problem. He is overwhelmed.

“I’m on my way.”

My fiancé has a bad temper. He tends to get angry easily when everything is either fall apart or out of his reach. He tried to consult it with some psychologists and even have his own session once on his three days off, but the result is close to nothing. Hearing he is overwhelmed now is more dangerous than any bad news. He is holding someone else’s life on his hand right now and for a doctor to lose his temper while operating means hell.

It is almost midnight when I’m being led by one of our nurses to clean up and wear my surgical dress. There he is my fiancé. He is taking a deep breath in front of a patient who is already in lithotomy position using Allen universal stirrups to hold her legs up. He looks down, sweating like crazy. Every once in a while his assistant wipes his sweat away. He doesn’t bug. As if aware with my presence he looks over his shoulder. I can only see his eyes, it is wet, either because of his sweat or he is crying, I can not tell. I’m walking closer and hug him by the time I reach him.

“I swear I’m gonna kill nurse Shin for paging you.” His deep voice is shaking, he is nervous.

“She called.” I say when he pulls away, “What happen?”

“She looks like you.”

I raise my eyebrows questioningly. So, I take a walk around to see the patient’s face. She looks like me, for sure, except for the lips. She is thicker than me. Now, I know why most of doctors do not allowed doing some surgical procedures on their family or their significant other, it prevents them from staying focus, it distracts them. Like what happen to my fiancé now.

“I’m helping you.” I say and he receives with a nervous nod, “This will be mark as the day when the almighty Dr. Park Chanyeol finally needs a hand.” I chuckle, try to make him calm.

He smiles, “Thank you, love.”

The surgery takes longer time than it should. It is sunrise when I make my way out of the OR. I follow him to his room and when he thinks it safe enough, he throws some curses. I can not do anything but let him to do that. I will prefer him to swear all day long until make it sounds like a rap than having him beating up someone to death or worse to eliminate his nervousness.

“Can you see how stupid I was at the OR?!” He exclaims, “One patient that looks exactly like you, throws my career out of the window.”

“Exaggerating, like always.” I shake my head to the left and right ever so slowly, “And no. All I can see is your nervousness. Not you career being thrown away.”

“Nervous equals stupid.” He takes a deep sigh, a disappointment sigh.

“Says who?”

“Me.”

I walk closer and when I see he does not move, I put my hands around his neck catching his eyes so he can see me clearly in front of him, “You are a human, not an angel. Human gets nervous too and it’s not stupid, it’s normal.”

“Yeah, well I’m embarrassed.” He catches my gaze but still have his hands crossing on his chest. He is still annoyed over this whole situation.

“Why? Was it because you got a help?” I ask remembering how it means everything for him to get his job done flawlessly without the need of a helping hand and as I expected he nods, “Look, Chanyeol. We are not God, we need help. There are so many doctors in the world, for what? For helping out each other. Stop thinking about how stupid you were, because you are not. The most brilliant doctor in the world needs a helping hand, so what?”

“Did you just say I am the most brilliant doctor in the world?” He flashes a sly smirk as he finally circling his hands around my waist. He is getting better. He is no longer upset.

“I had a celebrity crush on you, don’t you remember?”

“Oh, I remember that too _damn_ well, love.” There is a change on his voice.

As far as I can remember, my sense never tells me wrong and I can feel it now as his hands travel down south and thank God for my fast respond, I grab them before it is going down a little too far. He smirks, knowing that I’m fully aware of his intention.

“I can read your mind, young man. But no, thank you.” I say pulling myself away from his embrace.

“Oh, come on!” He pretends to plead, whereas all I can catch is his teasing tone.

“You know your _kink_ is weird sometimes.”

“Like what? Making love at the hospital? Come on, love. Give it a try. It’s challenging.” There he says that along with some weird wiggles on his eyebrows.

“That’s why your weird _kink_ never fit me.” I say walking out from his office room, “And your shifting-mood is just so _damn_ scary.”

“Where are you going, love?”

“Sleep, you _punk_! You ruined my days off!”

But something grabs me from behind and spins me around. I never make it out from his room as he traps me between the closed door and his body. My mind can not adjust towards his quick movement. Last thing I know, I was about to walk out of his office room yet now I’m paralyzed when he looks down on my shocking eyes. He forms a genuine smile, not a mischievous one.

“Thank you for sacrificing one of your three days off to help me.” He sounds really sweet and honestly I’m nearly killed by it.

“Y- you’re welc- welcome?” I say a bit stuttering. _Fuck_ , how can I be so nervous right now?

“Sense someone is a bit shaking right now?” He tries to tease me.

“Cut the crap, Chanyeol. I really need some sleep.” I push him away and let myself out of his office room as fast as possible, nearly bump into one of the nurses in the process.

We have some sleep-rooms at the hospital which mainly shared between us doctors here, so every time we have a late shift we don’t have to go home. I share my room with my fellow doctor, my college-mate slash best friend Park Jimin. Despite of having a man as my “roommate” it doesn’t hold me back to sleep in that room. In fact, it never be weird at all even though I have him around when I sleep. Chanyeol, on the other hand, is really against the idea of my “shared-room” so he insists to have me sleep in his room every time Jimin is around or wants to spend the night at the hospital.

The sound of my phone wakes me up at eleven. I groan a little when I see Chanyeol’s name flashes on my phone screen. Does he initiate to be a kind angel by waking me up or what? It takes me few second before bring my phone closer.

“It’s my days off.” Hate to know my voice is cracking.

“Hi, ‘my days off’. It’s Chanyeol.”

“Not funny, you gigantic tall.”

He laughs before he continues, “So our patient last night, Kim Shinyoung, one of her family member wishes to see us. Both of us.”

Oh, so her name is Kim Shinyoung, “Parents?” I finally wake up slowly and aware of my surrounding. Black coat is loosely hanging behind the door, bet Jimin is already here.

“Husband.”

 _Oh_ , “For what?”

“Thanking us probably, I don’t know.”

“Count me out. I’m not coming. She is your patient, Chanyeol.”

“Yeah but I couldn’t do it without you. We performed the surgery together last night, means you are responsible too.”

“I was coming to help.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so pushy?”

I can hear him groans, “First floor cafeteria now. I’m demanding as your boss.”

“I hate my boss.”

Sometimes I will hate Chanyeol for using his ‘superior’ status to demand something from me. Either to assist him when in reality he can do that alone or just to show me that he is my superior moreover my senior. Remember when I was in my resident time here, Chanyeol gave me a punishment for coming late to work. And guess what the punishment was? Gave him company at lunch time and demanded me to be a good listener while he was bragging about his successful research and will be published again in books. However, as much as I want to reject his order right now, I can’t do anything. He seems like he really needs a help like he did last night. And he is right too, by the way, we performed the surgery together which means this Kim Shinyoung is my responsibility too.

With that thought in mind, I am here walking down the stair refuse to use the elevator since I’m afraid of it. Bad memories? You can say that. My late mother collapsed inside the elevator which led her to be diagnosed with some sort of cancer. I know, the elevator doesn’t relate to it but still, the impact it gives still linger in me. It takes less than two minutes to walk down from third floor to first floor and takes another minute to reach the cafeteria. There is Chanyeol in the middle of lazy day conversation with a guy whom probably Kim Shinyoung’s family member, like he said earlier. This guy has his back on me so I can’t clearly see his face.

“There she is. My partner.” Chanyeol says standing up as this guy stands up too.

When he turns around, it takes my breath and my sleepy-head away. He is not just some random guys, I know this guy personally. The moment I catch his gaze, I shock. Not in a good way of course, but in a super weird and bad way instead. I have this urge either to hug him or slap him. Not 24 hours ago, he was my main discussion at Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop. He is the reason I’m still having a hard time to move on even after a ring already in my finger. He is the main reason for me to still having a hard time to sleep because _goddammit_ , he always make an appearance in my dream. He is the one who will never understand how important it was for me to become what I am today. Unless, maybe he completely aware now since I’m just saving his wife’s- wait a minute. Is he married?

“This is Dr. Lee Yoonjin. My partner last night when we performed your wife’s surgery. And this is Kim Seokjin. Kim Shinyoung’s husband.” Chanyeol explains which pretty unnecessary.

I am juggling whether to reach for his hand and shake it as if we do not know each other. Or reveal the truth that we know each other for years as _friend_. Or even reveal him as my _ex-boyfriend_. Later I know that Kim Seokjin is already extending his arm which I awkwardly accept.

“I know her, Doc.” Seokjin smiles looking at my direction a bit longer before pulls his hand away and turns his head to face Chanyeol, “Believe it or not, she is my ex. You didn’t mention her name before, Dr. Park.”

Well, _shit_.

_to be continued_


	2. HISTORY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The re-appearance of my old-pal brings back some memories we have shared on past time. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to ignore it, the only memories that come up in my head is the most beautiful one. However, the painful ending which shall not be forgotten and forgiven weirdly makes my anger towards him slowly decrease.

_Flashback_

 

Three days to the beginning of my middle school spring semester when I was 13 years old, my mother passed away after fought against her uterine sarcoma. She was the bravest warrior I’ve ever seen. My mother and I were having our “mother and daughter time” when she suddenly collapsed in the elevator. So many people helped me due to my young age. I was a crying mess and phoned my father right away with police officer’s help. All of the images were quite blurry until it was suddenly my mother’s funeral.

No one told me to be strong after the painful incident, not even my father. He spent almost a week crying in his room and only came out to buy me some take outs before he went in back to his room, crying. The sight was really frustrating. As if the condition was so much worrying, my grandparents from both sides asked me to move out with them. However, I told them no. I wanted to take care of my father and prevent him from doing some stupid thing he might do. After a full week of hiding, he started to open up himself and we talked to each other. He probably saw my effort to make him _live the life_. He did not go to his work during that time so he was fired. It stressed him out even more, however I assured him that we would find a way and we would be okay.

He started to get a part time job at a restaurant while he was also looking for a permanent job. On the other hand, I was doing my best to find a proper scholarship to pay my tuition. To our luck, he got his permanent job three months later and my scholarship proposal was accepted even I got into an acceleration program so I was able to finish my high school when I turned 16 years old.

It was a lie if you thought this painful memory does not impact my future’s decision. Since I was witnessing my mother’s hardship through chemo and her eagerness to be healthier led her down to her death, I wanted nothing but to make sure people won’t end up like my mother. I wanted to make sure they who need helps will be helped and receive what they need. So, I decided to get into medical school. Bought a lot of books about it since. My father told me once that he worried about my social life because while other kids might have their friends regularly came to their houses and play with them, I did not. While other kids went outside and play at the park until sunset, I would spend my after-school time to sit down in my study-table and flip through some books. However, I could prove him what I got from kept my nose on the books. Good grades, full scholarship, acceleration program, graduated from high school early. It probably sounds easy, but believe me, I even lost my weight and wanted to give up in the process due to stress I felt that time.

Ravenwood University was one of infamous universities at Greenhollow. Many well-known scientists, artists, doctors, engineers, and even singers graduated from Ravenwood University. So, with a high self-esteem I tried to apply to its Medical School where apparently I met so many rivals who were smarter than me, not to mention they were older too. At my way home, I did not want to see my dad caught me crying so I made a quick visit to the nearest vintage coffee shop where I met Mr. Cha for the first time. I was fully aware that I made a complete ridiculous breakfast order when I should have to eat dinner instead. However, Mr. Cha probably understood and he even sat down to listen about my problem after generously served me a soufflé omelette.

“So you want to be a doctor?” Mr. Cha asked raising his eyebrows either he was fascinated by the thought of 16 years old kid wanted to be a doctor or he thought that was just one of a _hella_ ridiculous dream, “Can I ask you why?”

That time, I believed revealing my true reason as to why I wanted to become a doctor was my weakest thing. I did not want to walk around and tell people that I wanted to be a doctor because my mother’s death and did not want to people have the same miserable end like she did, that is just cliche and unnecessary.

“Because I want to.” I replied to his question.

“Just because you want to?” Once again Mr. Cha could not buy it, “You know, seeing you are crying right now, it’s hard to believe that the only reason is _just because you want to_. There is must be a bigger reason than that.” He said leaving me speechless because I realized he got the point and he was right, “Anyway, I don’t want to force you to tell me the truth. But, I wish you a good luck on your test. Sixteen years old already graduated from high school even started to apply on university? That’s a strong point, I tell you. You’ll pass, don’t worry.”

And he _again_ was right. Three days after the test, I came to visit Mr. Cha to deliver the good news and the test’s result. Mr. Cha congratulated me by serving a whole classic breakfast for free. He even made three health wrap take outs for my father. Since then, I paid Mr. Cha a visit regularly, three times a week. Even I brought my father along several times before he got busy with work.

During my first winter break, I came to Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop almost everyday in the afternoon and I would bring along my books which mainly consists of two research reports about gynecological oncologist, one book about medical health, and three thriller novels. I was in the middle of reading my research book when a good-scent man entered. His back was facing me the entire time and I could only make out his voice.

“Two vintage quiches, four vintage triple clubs, and one chateauxbriand to go, Sir.”

“Bet the chateauxbriand is for you right, young man?” Mr. Cha teased which earned the young man’s soft squeaking chuckle, “The order will be placed under whose name?”

“Mine. Kim Seokjin.” The guy said.

“Right. Kim Seokjin. Should I add The Handsome Kim Seokjin?” Mr. Cha added again, laughing.

“That would be nice but my friend will laugh over it.”

“Are you new to Greenhollow?”

“No. I have been here since a year ago. Just found out about this vintage coffee shop through my friend. He highly recommended this place.”

“Work?”

“No. College student. At Ravenwood.”

“Oh really?” Mr. Cha sounded pretty surprise, “What major?”

“I’m majoring in Movie.”

“Good heavens, you must be really smart.”

“Ah, not at all.” Kim Seokjin said shyly.

“Alright, I’ll make your order. Have a seat.”

“Okay, thank you, Sir.”

This Kim Seokjin guy then took a seat near my table and he glanced at me once, twice, and three times before I caught him staring. He would politely smile and bowed, so did I. He took a look at me once again, only this time he stared at my books and probably my university hoodie.

“Ravenwood too?”

I looked up to see him smiled, “Yes.” I nodded shyly.

“First year? I’ve never seen you around.”

“Yes. Meds student.”

His mouth gapped open, “Our building is close to each other. Literally side by side. How can I never see you?”

I shrugged nonchalantly, “Probably you were too busy being a popular student, while I’m locking myself in the library.”

He laughed upon my joke, “I’m Kim Seokjin, your future movie producer.”

I chuckled, “Lee Yoonjin. Your future-“ I stopped because his phone was ringing.

“Sorry. Give me a minute.”

“Sure.”

While he was on his phone, I couldn’t make out what was he saying because I was too busy studied his face. Literally from head to toe. He wore a casual simple winter outfit which includes a white hoodie under a black coat and he also wore black pants along with a nice black winter boots. His hair was black simple medium hairstyle which matched perfectly with his sculptured face. His smile was a charm and his laugh was enchanting. Reality brought me back to life when he hung up and returned his attention to me.

“What book you’re reading now?” He asked moving aside to sit down beside me suddenly and did not even seem bothered by the way I was looking at him recently. He probably enjoyed my admiration toward his good-looking face.

“Medical research report.”

“Isn’t it a winter break? What is with this books? Oh my God, they are even six of them.” He sounded forcing his shockness and caused my laugh, “Don’t you have plans with your friends?”

I shrugged, “Have zero of them.”

He looked pretty surprise upon my statement, “You are not a study machine, aren’t you?”

I laughed, “I believe I’m not.”

“Then come with me. I have been friend with this six silly guys for years, which turns our they are really smart actually, and have zero girl friends. If I don’t meet you then I will forget about women existence. Besides, they will be surprise if I bring along an actual girl.”

The shockness attacked knowing this guy was actually pretty talkative, “Okay, you are exaggerating right now and no, I won’t come with you. How can you persuade me to come when we are literally just met not a minute ago?”

He shrugged, “What’s wrong with that?”

“How if turns out you are a lunatic psychopath?”

“What makes you think so?”

“Psychopaths tend to have a good-looking face and a skill to persuade. They are basically using his appearance to get what they need.”

He smirked, “You just admitted that I’m good-looking.”

“I didn’t say that!” I said denying reality while in fact I did realize what I said earlier and it gave me a slight heart attack.

“You are cute.” He said absentmindedly as if it was nothing, “I have a friend at Ravenwood Medical School too. The one who phoned me earlier. I have no idea if you know him though. His name is Park Jimin. Can you put a name into a face?”

 _Park Jimin_ , “Ah, black curtain fringe haired boy.” I said remembering his face somewhere when we were on our orientation day. It was easy to spot him because he basically introduced himself to every single thing that moves. Being friendly, I guess. And not so much people to have that kind of hair style.

“Yeah, that’s him. Is that enough to give you a prove that I’m not a lunatic psychopath?”

I laughing shaking my head to the side, “No. That’s not enough.”

He laughed along too, “I’ll give you my number then. See where it can lead us to.” He said writing down his number on my book using my pencil, “Don’t delete it. Just send me a short message. Okay, Yoonjin?”

“Kim Seokjin! Your order is ready! Leave that nerd-girl alone! He is my date!” Mr. Cha shouted from behind the counter.

“Are you really?” Seokjin asked in surprise half curious.

“No.” I laughed, “I am just his regular costumer.”

“I see.” He nodded before stood up, “I’ll see you around, Yoonjin.”

To my surprise, his number led me to have an encouragement to text him first three days after our first meeting.

**[10.56 PM]**

| 

**Yoonjin**

| 

**:**

| 

**I don’t know if you still remember me, but it’s Yoonjin.**  
  
---|---|---|---  
  
**[10.56 PM]**

| 

**Seokjin**

| 

**:**

| 

**Mr. Cha’s nerdy girl? How can I forget :D**  
  
**[11.00 PM]**

| 

**Yoonjin**

| 

**:**

| 

**Glad, you remember me.**  
  
 

_Was he being serious right now?_

**[11.02 PM]**

| 

**Seokjin**

| 

**:**

| 

**Do you have a plan for tomorrow?**  
  
---|---|---|---  
  
**[11.02 PM]**

| 

**Yoonjin**

| 

**:**

| 

**No. Why?**  
  
**[11.02 PM]**

| 

**Seokjin**

| 

**:**

| 

**Can I meet you at the coffee shop? 5.00 PM sharp. I’m an on-time guy.**  
  
 

Despite of -11oC outside and still afraid if Seokjin was really a psychopath, I made it on time to Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop five minutes earlier and no books in hand. This marked my first time of meeting up with a stranger from university. Due to my young age and my lack ability to socialize, I had not make friend yet even with my classmates. I found it hard to blend because basically all of the people at Ravenwood always form a group which consists of significant people. They did not openly socialize and the group were divided into most popular group and least popular group there was no in between.

So, he came. He did not lie when he said that he is an _on-time_ guy. With his white jacket and a beanie on his head which he took it off as soon as he made a way in. He smiled catching my gaze. His hair was slightly all over the place because he took out his beanie out off his head forced-fully.

“Never have a high self-esteem to wear it. But, it’s cold outside so I have no option if I don’t want to die freezing.” He said as soon as he claimed his seat in front of me.

“It looks good on you though.” I said.

He paused for a bit. The same went for me, I was slightly taken aback by it. However, he managed to wash the awkwardness away by shyly mumbled a _‘Thank you_ ’.

“Oh, so it will become a regular thing?” Mr. Cha came with two mugs of hot chocolate in hand, “In the house, don’t worry.”

“Are you become a billionaire since the last time I saw you?” I laughed receiving the hot chocolate, “Or you just become so generous each days? Make almost everything free.”

“Nope. Still have bills to be paid.” Mr. Cha shook his head, “You don’t answer my question.”

“What is it?”

“Will it become a regular thing? You and this face-like-an-art boy having a date at my own coffee shop?”

“It’s not a da-“

“Probably. We don’t know. It’s our first time.” Seokjin cut my words off and I believed he stopped my heart beat. He casually put the mug on his lips and gave Mr. Cha two thumbs up because the hot chocolate tasted so delicious.

“What you guys want to order?”

We ended up order the same thing because, first, sirloin steak ciabatta sounded pretty tasty and the way Mr. Cha explained its ingredients was too much to handle, and second, I was too nervous to think about my afternoon meal because of Seokjin’s presence.

“You know what’s funny?” Seokjin said between his meal.

“What?” I said still laughing over his previous joke.

“This place is called Cha’s Vintage Coffee Shop, right?” He asked earning my powerful nod, “Then why the _hell_ there is no coffee on his menu? See, there is only breakfast, healthy, light meals, cakes and high tea, and cold beverages. Where is the coffee?”

I laughed admitting his confusion as mine too, “Why didn’t I think about that?”

Knowing I didn’t bring vehicle with me, Seokjin insisted to drive me home. It was already 10 PM when he parked his silver Audi TT few meters away from my simple chalet style house. He looked around before turned the engine off and held my hand down prevented me from unbuckling my seat belt. So, I looked up to meet his smiley face. He was happy, I could tell, but the reason behind it was a mystery. He only said ‘ _Thank you_ ’ then went to the other side of his car to open its door for me.

After few more _dates—_ at least he said so—Seokjin later introduced me to his six silly friends—he called them—to which I realized they are more likely to be six gorgeous men rather than silly guys according to Seokjin. I spotted Park Jimin right away because I remembered his presence during orientation day, although we did not have a time to get to know each other better after orientation day. Then there were Kim Taehyung whom shared the same major as Seokjin. The other four are Min Yoongi, Jeon Jungkook, and Jung Hoseok who were majoring in music and last but not least the smart _ass_ Kim Namjoon—again according to Seokjin the master of giving weird nicknames—who was majoring in science. Namjoon also known as The Einstein of the group, the brainy one.

Seokjin would occasionally tag me along everytime he and his friends were having an event or just hang out and having dinner later on. The other six were also getting used to my presence and would ask about my whereby if I could not join them on their “ _winter get together_ ” time. And when I could not make it, they would politely give me a visit and to my surprise, my father allowed them to come in. My father stated that he prefer me having some guy friends rather than have no friend at all. The seven of them started to become my second home and my best friends, even though I would spend more time with Seokjin and got lost in our little world.

The beginning of new semester in March was already coming and having those seven guys around made December to February passed ever so fast. Despite of how far his house was, Seokjin offered me a lift home every time my class ends. He would excuse himself immediately after he made sure I safely landed at my porch and he would politely reject my offer to come in for sec. He said that my father wasn’t home and it made him uncomfortable with just two of us alone which I completely agreed and it made me like him even more.

If it possible, the eight of us would spend our break time together by sharing the same massive table at the cafeteria. I would earn few jealous stares every time they were around me, especially from girls, I mean who were not? They were all gorgeous from head to toe not to mention their on point choice of style and of course their smart brain.

“This face is bothering me.” Seokjin said pointing my book about research of one infamous medical student at capital city Westergold which happened to be my and Jimin’s second year project, “Is it necessary to have his face fill almost the entire cover?” He added again earning his friends’ laugh and scoff.

“Admit it you’re feeling threatened by it.” I said laughing along.

“Threatened by it? _Hell_ no. I’m more handsome than he is!”

“Okay, okay.” I laughed, “First of all, this is his book, written by himself, and the look of this book is all up to him completely. Second of all, don’t feel intimidated by it, you have your own charm.”

“Ohooo~” The rest of six boys started to make fun of us after a way too long paused. They were also making fun of Seokjin’s reddened face.

“Okay, you all can _shut up_ before my face become even more red.” He said nervously laughing, “Either way, please say that I’m more handsome than this medical student, please.”

“You are more handsome than he-“

“Not you.” Seokjin cut Hoseok’s words, “Her.” Seokjin pointed at me, “Say, Kim Seokjin is more handsome than Pa-“

“You, Kim Seokjin is more handsome than this Westergold medical student named Park Chanyeol whose his face filled almost the entire cover of his own research book.” This time was my turned to cut him off and probably my heart skipped a beat too while the rest of the guy were still laughing. Except for Seokjin. He got his eyes on me the entire time.

 

_to be continued_


	3. HISTORY CONTINUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People say love always find its way to unite two different souls. The way they mostly talk about is probably the good one, because I never find such a good way of love-finding thingy. At least, not when I am broken heart and another person try to fix me in the most cruel way possible.

“We hope you can join us.”

This day was my second winter break with the seven guys and my second year at Ravenwood. Hoseok asked me to join them on their fancy “winter get together” time which I refused mainly because of the place was so far. Basically, they rewarded their success by taking a week winter holiday at Stockholm. Jimin once mentioned they have been planning this few years ago and could not make it few years ago because Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin himself were still in high school focusing on their own acceleration program. Hoseok insisted for me to come by saying it would not be fun without me.

“You were planning this even before you know me.”

“But we are now.” Hoseok said.

“I’d really love to but I have a plan with my father this winter and on top of that Stockholm is far. I don’t think I can leave my father alone like that.”

They understood eventually, after I shared my heart-breaking memory about my late mother they became more careful when they talked about family, especially parents. Truthfully, I was okay with that but they are a bunch of well-educated and good-mannered people so being considered towards other people was their basic manner. They were not only smart, but also kind and caring. No wonder, I always feel like at home around them.

We had a plate of smoked klasser before each and every one of us went home. Seokjin insisted to drive me home and let Jimin went home with Yoongi. Their houses were close to each other. Seokjin turned off the engine when we reached my home.

“Stockholm is not that far.” He said chuckling, “But if I were you, I’ll choose my father over everything.”

Felt grateful by his understanding, I nodded, “Thank you.”

“Can I ask you a question though?” Seokjin asked holding me up from going.

“Sure. What’s up?” I could feel curiosity built up inside of me as I leaned back looking at him.

“So- The guys and I are leaving in two days, right? But we have so much to prepare. Packing and stuff. So, you and me probably won’t meet each other until I come from Stockholm.”

“Right.” Half of me was thinking about his next words and a bit more curious about the question.

“I won’t meet you for nine days.”

“Yes.”

“Freaking _nine days_.” Seokjin put a little too much emphasis on ‘ _nine days_ ’ even he held up nine fingers in front of my face.

“Yea- Okay, what’s wrong with that?”

“I want to secure myself seeing you are kind of a worry-free person.”

“Secure yourself? What are you talk-“

“Be my girlfriend.” He said maintaining our eye contact which became stronger especially after the words being spoken.

The words kept ringing inside my head. I saw this coming but the way he asked about it was way too far from my expectation. To be honest, I was expected something more romantic like a candle light dinner, or stargazing at Greenhollow infamous lakeside, not inside his car in front of my house. As I replayed the words inside my head, I realized that was not a question and I wanted to correct him for that. But, as much as I eager to do it, I couldn’t say anything, hence I couldn’t even move my face. Seokjin seemed a bit tense every seconds waiting for my answer. _Hell_ , that wasn’t even a question at the first place and he put nothing like a question mark at the end of it, so what he expected to be as a respond? _Be my boyfriend_? No that way, of course. So, I finally figured out another way. This needed to be shown not to be spoken. Morality being pushed aside and my brain just stopped working. I became calmer when I leaned forward after held his left hand down, afraid it could prevent me from going and it would be weird if I stopped now. Seokjin didn’t seem like he was going to move anytime soon so that helped.

With full of courageous, I closed our gap. His lips met mine and did I open my eyes to see his expression? Heavens, no. Along with the closing gap, my eyes were closed too. Afraid when I open it, Seokjin’s face would show nothing but disgust over my too bold action. The pressure was light at first and I was about to pull back when Seokjin held my back. That was when I opened my eyes, shocked by the sudden movement. There I saw his eyes were peacefully closed. He added a bit more pressure on his lips which brought my eyes to close again. Our breath became uneven when he parted his lips and let mine too. The kiss wasn’t too rough and wasn’t too soft either, it lasted longer than I thought and it was apparently exhausting. We panted when we broke the kiss and laughed right after. Well, Seokjin did laugh, I was too shy to even look at his face.

“So, I am secure. I guess?” Seokjin raised his eyebrows after made me to look at him.

I scoffed pretending like I didn’t nervous at all, “Secure from what?”

“From those preying eyes who probably will ask you to be their girlfriend while I’m out to Stockholm.”

I smiled upon his explanation, “And I am secure too. I guess?”

“From what?”

“From those pretty girls at Stockholm who probably will steal your attention away.”

The beginning of their journey to Stockholm was also the beginning of my new relationship with Seokjin. He would occasionally send me pictures, messages, and videos about his activities while staying there. Other guys often joined him when he phoned me and congratulated us both. When I asked them where did they find out? They said Seokjin couldn’t keep his mouth shut when he was happy. Seokjin even added a joke which was saying that _‘we are barely a month in relationship yet we already thousand miles apart_ ’ and I would laugh on that.

Without Seokjin and other six guardians around I spent my winter break at Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop as always. With my books and research reports I began my winter break by doing my part of the project as Jimin promised me he would do the other part. This project required us, medical students, to understand more what it would be like as a patient after being diagnosed or after surgery, so the project was more like psychological approaches rather than scientific one. I totally sucked on that and that was why I kept on reading Park Chanyeol’s research report to be able to finish my project on time.

Park Chanyeol was almost the same as me, only he was one year older than me. He was born and being raised at capital city Westergold, joined acceleration program in young age and accepted at Westergold Memorial Hospital to begin his journey as resident. So far he had been published two research reports and I owned the both of them on its first day of release. The more I read it, the more I curious about him. Not in a personal way but more like a professional way. I admired him as a working-hard student and always end up as a brilliant one when he along his resident-mates was being given a task or two. Well, _okay_ I probably had a _little_ celebrity crush on him.

By the end of the week, the seven of them were safely landed at the airport. My father, Mr. Cha, and I were coming to pick them up using my father’s and Mr. Cha’s car. They refused to go home so we went to Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop instead where we spent a late night hour by ordering breakfast food. Later on, they took taxi to go home rather than accepted our offer to drive them home.

“It’s getting late and our houses are closer from here.” Yoongi stated thanking us.

The day after, Seokjin paid me and my father a visit. He brought along souvenirs he purchased at Stockholm, like Swedish licorice and chocolate, wild forest berry and marmalade, even he bought carved wooden kitchen utensils knowing that my father often spends his day at the kitchen. Didn’t want to miss a thing, he also bought Dala Horse which was best and most traditional Sweden’s souvenirs.

“Last but not least-“ Seokjin pulled out the last package, “It’s _Lovikkavantar_.” He shown me a pair of white knitted wool mitten with red and green pattern on it, “The mitten is famous, you know. They even have a museum dedicated to it.”

“So, I am wearing an ancient mitten?”

Seokjin laughed, “No! I’m just saying that this mitten is their most valuable thing. As you are to me.”

“Okay, better-check-on-chicken-before-it-gets-burn-or-our-lunch-time-will-be-ruined.” My father stood up avoiding Seokjin’s word which led him to an awkward moment.

Years gone by and it was already Seokjin’s graduation day along with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon. After graduated, Seokjin would join movie production house at Westergold for few months before he would finally be able to move back here to work as a permanent employee on its branch at Greenhollow, meanwhile Yoongi and Hoseok already joined one of the most prestigious music label at the same town, and Namjoon would start his career path pretty late due to his acceptance to continue his master study abroad.

School without Seokjin picking me up was different, not hard, just different. I would take the same bus everyday, stop by Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop to replay some memories of me and Seokjin even though some med books and researches occupied my presence.

“Feel different without him, huh?” Mr. Cha said joining my at the table after served me a breakfast parfait, to sweeten my day he stated.

“Just ten months.” I sighed reaching out a fork before started dig the dish out.

“Ten months will be like a decade when you are madly in love.”

I nodded, “As a matter of fact, yeah. It does feel that way.”

I didn’t lie when I said that because it did feel like a decade and Seokjin went home not only with different car but also different style of clothes which was more mature than the last time I saw him. The first time we met after he was ten months away from Greenhollow was my first day of winter break on my last year before graduation ceremony on February. Seokjin was standing in front of my home with two breakfast parfaits in hand. To be honest, I was more taken aback when I looked at his brand new silver Mercedes-Benz AMG SL-65 than his appearance.

“Did you steal your company’s money away or something?”

Seokjin looked over his shoulder and gave me a little cute shrug, “Ten months is enough for me to learn about their security systems and stuff. So, by the end of the month I was able to steal few bucks and bought this little baby. Happy?”

I laughed shaking my head to the side, “No.”

“Good. Because I’m not that low. They are just, let’s say, pay me so _damn_ well.”

“Yeah, I can see that. I should probably join your production house than pursuing career on med.” We laughed along.

“So, listen. I’m not having intention of being rude here but, young lady, can you at least offer me to come inside? I am deadly freezing.”

“Oh, heavens! I’m sorry. Come.”

As soon as Seokjin came inside and took off his coat, he looked around probably to make sure my father’s presence. Later Seokjin found him in the kitchen—of course—and my father greeted him warmly, even offered him a dinner. We occupied the living room while my father finished his work of art. He adores food more than anything.

“What does it feel to finish college in 20?” Seokjin asked scopping one scoop breakfast parfait.

“What does it feel for you?” I chuckled.

“Acceleration program is amazing.” He said.

“Do you miss me?” I boldly asked him.

He was probably taken aback by the question and about to ask the same because he left me hanging later on. He nodded his head once answering my question before looked over and gave me a quick peck which was followed by a giggle.

“Will your father give me permission to take you out after dinner?” Seokjin whispered.

“Where?”

Seokjin played a set of keys in hand, “Mr.Cha’s. I rent his place for a night.”

“For what? We will have dinner her.”

“Catching up some missing moments.”

Our dinner which filled with laughter, stories, and jokes ended at 10 PM and with my father’s permission, we could leave the house at that hours and arrived at Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop few minutes later. We could see Mr. Cha was cleaning up some table. He closed early due to Seokjin’s wish to have a place ourselves.

“You know, it’s weird for a couple to rent my place for a date. I mean there are a lot of romantic and good places for people like you two.” Mr. Cha said turning on his car engine.

“Yeah, there are a lot of them. But your place has its own story for us.” Seokjin replied.

Upon hearing it, Mr. Cha couldn’t hold his expression of being touched and he smiled to hide it, “Hope it will last forever. Happily. Otherwise, I have to shut it down the place.”

“Oh, please no.” I said, “Other place won’t serve me breakfast menu for dinner.”

Seokjin turned all of the electricity off and lightened up candles instead. Honestly, it looked a lot more like a sect ritual than a date. There I realized Seokjin’s style of date was a bit too scary. He finished it up by lightening the last candle by the end of the corner.

“I forget my Ouija board at home. Should I go back and get it?”

Seokjin scoffed laughing, “Ha! Very funny. Wait, do you actually have it?”

I sighed, “Why don’t we leave the lights on?”

“Because it’s romantic when you have only candles to wash away the darkness.” He said walking closer and gripped my shoulder with both hands.

“You are watching too many movies.”

“I work at the industry.”

“Yeah, point taken.”

“I miss you.” Seokjin said eventually after took a long pause.

“I miss you too.” I said closing the gap and melted into his embrace.

I took as much as possible of his woody-like scent until it filled up my nostrils and recorded perfectly inside my head. So, if one day the worst scenario happen to me and I suffer for something like amnesia, I would still be able to recognize him through this scent. Silly thought, but I did it anyway. His hug became even more tighter along with a soft sob which followed it later. His whole body was shaking, not too much but was enough for me to feel he was not standing up steadily. My effort to pull away and see what was happening was fail because of his tight hug.

“Can I ask what happen?” I asked softly.

“I think I’m in love with you.” He said trying his hard to hide the sobbing sound and honestly he did a poor job of it.

“And- what’s wrong with that?”

This time was his turn to pull away forcefully, almost knocked me away in the process, “You’re not freaking out!” It sounded more like a statement rather than a question and I shook my head in confusion.

“Wha- Why should I be freaking out?”

“Because I just said, I love you. Thought you would go freak out about it.”

I sighed, “Honestly, I’m more freaking out about your choice of a date. It looks like we are about to do a dark ritual or something. Turn off the candles and have the lights instead.” I demanded.

The date went as usual where Seokjin would throw some of his crappy yet cheesy jokes on me, few kisses and hugs here and there which didn’t lead us to do anything any further. On that case, me and Seokjin were on the same page. _Will never do **it** before we are ilegal to actually do it_ , which I couldn’t agree more. Kisses and hugs are acceptable but _that_ was just crucial. Seokjin was the first to tell about his _old school_ way of life about sex which I agreed immediately. We spent almost two hours and Seokjin thought about driving me back home to enjoy my last holiday as a college student.

“Still have to get M.D. ahead though.” I said once Seokjin stopped the engine.

“Is this really your passion?” He asked.

“I will not take medical school at the first place if this is not my dream and my passion.”

He took a deep breath and smiled in the end, “So, you are still a college student then.”

I nodded laughing, “What? Feel bad to date a student?”

“No.” He shook his head ever so sweetly, “It’s just hard to think about-“ He stopped middle way.

“About what?” I asked him seeing there was no sign for him to continue.

“Never mind. I’ll tell you later. Goodnight.” He leaned forward to give me a quick kiss in the forehead.

* * *

 

The Medical College Admission Test is required for entrance into accredited medical schools. The exam includes questions on physical and biological science and test students’ verbal reasoning and cognitive abilities. However, MCAT had another meaning for me. _Life or death_. The beginning of my career journey was here, the MCAT. Seokjin along with other five guys were doing nothing but willingly to support me and Jimin pass the test. We both have been stressed out about it since graduation ceremony.

The intense amount of time on medical school was unbearable, especially when Jimin and I were facing difficulties between wanted to rest and wanted to graduate on time. Other five guys, including Seokjin understood about our situation even though Seokjin would complain once in awhile. Seokjin would constantly called and sent me some texts saying _he needs me after work_ which I sometime replied with an _I can’t_ or _I have so much work to do_.

“You are still a student, you are not supposed to have more work than me!” Seokjin exclaimed in one of our late night calls.

However, some constant bickerings, fights, argues, and make ups led me to graduate on time. Finished my meds school and got my M.D. degree after four years of misery. Along with the seven guys and my father, we celebrated the occasion at one and only Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop. The clattering sounds of glass filled every corner of the room, expressed our happiness at the moment where heavy load on my shoulder—and probably on Jimin’s too—gone. But, life is all about balance. Happiness came along with sadness. I didn’t realize it until one night when I said something about my desire to apply as Westergold Memorial Hospital’s resident ignited Seokjin’s anger. That was my first massive argument with Seokjin. He had to drive me down to Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop to avoid being heard by my father, since he knew that my father hates couple who argue especially after the death of my mother.

“I understand about your dream, but leaving me to complete your residency for four years is killing me. Could not see you for ten months is enough to take my breath away, Yoonjin! Don’t you understand that?!” Seokjin threw his anger once he made sure the door was closed. As soon as we arrived, we walked towards Mr. Cha’s supply room which placed at the furthest back of coffee shop.

“I can take a bus to come home.” I said in matter-of-fact.

“Nonsense! When you were in meds school here, I had a hard time to even phone you. Now, you leave me all the way to Westergold I- God, I can’t even imagine it!”

“What is it so hard for you to let me pursue my dre-“

“Because you will be so independent and you will never need me anymore once you reach the higher level of your career. You will be too busy to live your life and forget to bring me along. You will never want me to help you anymore, because _hell_ you can stand by your feet. I want to feel needed, Yoonjin. Like the way you always do back in college.”

Never once in my relationship I saw him as furious as that moment. He could not even raise his voice when I was being an annoying or even being an _asshole_ towards him. I could say, other than my father, Seokjin is the gentlest man ever. Even among his friends, he was the sweetest one. It must have been a big deal for him that I had to stay. His eyes reddened each time I tried to convince him that I couldn’t let my degree go wasted. Every time  I said ‘ _This is my passion_ ’ he looked away slightly begging that this was just his dream. This sight of him was really painful but letting my ambition go to fulfill my dream, which been made even before I met him, was as frustrating.

“My dream has nothing to do with me being an independent human being.” I said firmly, “I still need my father, my friends, you-“

He let out a bitter smile followed by a deep sigh, “It will be different kind of need.” He looked at me eventually caught my vulnerable gaze which would be break into tears anytime soon as I could read what was going on, “Trust me, you will be independent and strong. So-“ He took another deep breath as he looked away before met my gaze again stronger than before, “-I supposed you can be independent now. Spread you wings, baby.” He stroked my face ever so slowly as he wiped away my tears which dropped unknowingly, “I will not get in your way.”

“It’s just Westergold, Seokjin. Not Stockholm.” I tried to remind him about me being left by when he along with his other six friends were away on their holiday.

“Your ambition and my pride are as great. You and your ambition to become a doctor. Me and my pride to have you stay by my side and lean on me completely. We are like parallel lines, always the same distance apart and never touch.”

My mouth didn’t move after I realized we just broke up. Seokjin was good on picking the words. At least, our break up didn’t sound too loud. In fact, it was soft as silk, thanks to Seokjin’s golden tongue. I would never understand the impact of my decision on my and Seokjin’s future but let’s just blame my huge ambition and Seokjin’s pride for separate us away.

“I didn’t mean this to happen, Seokjin.”

He nodded, “I know. Me too, baby. Well, if you have second thought just remember, I bought a multi-millions dollar car only in my first ten months of work.” We chuckled on that.

“It’s not about the money, Seokjin.”

“I know.” He nodded letting his last laugh out, “Your dream is priceless and it doesn’t worth money.”

Seokjin took a deep breath before bracing himself to step forward a bit, reached out for the top of my head before kissed it. It was not a quick kiss but a long heart-breaking kiss and I could hear him sniffled before let it go.

“Too bad I don’t have enough time to hear you say ‘ _I love you_ ’ back. I’ve been dying to hear that.” He said before turned his back from and left the room.

He left without giving me a chance to convince him one more time that we could work this out, because I believe we could. Unless, Seokjin did not believe it. So, instead of Seokjin’s name being called which I intended to, my mouth did not let any words out. It just shivered and trembled holding myself back from screaming. The relationship I had with Seokjin was too precious to be ended, I could almost see my future with him someday but _it is what it is_. So, with limp steps I left the room along with its emptiness. My presence was welcomed by Mr. Cha who apparently already knew what was going on.

“No, it’s alright, Mr. Cha.”

“Want me to drive you home, instead?” He asked worriedly.

“While you have so many costumers tonight? I don’t think so.” I smiled, “I’ll be fine. Just grab a taxi and I’m home.”

Mr. Cha sent an apology nod before I said to him it was okay which apparently was not okay completely because once I reached the front door of the vintage coffee shop, Seokjin’s car blocked my way. He was inside and rolled the window down before stick his head out and yelled.

“I’ll drive you home.” He probably caught my confusion so he continued, “Even if it’s my last time, you should be treated well.”

His last words gave a quite massive impact for the next day since last night was not a very good _goodbye_. Seokjin did not say a thing after dropping me by. He only smiled and drove away in a full speed. I was worried he might get injured and wanted to call him to ask did he safely arried at home? But all kinds of judgment stopped me. So instead, I packed my luggage with a help from my father whom did not say anything when I said, me and Seokjin broke up. My father only asked one thing though.

“Should I live with you at Westergold?”

Which I politely declined and used his job as an excuse. He got himself a steady well-paid job and sacrificed that thing to live with me just because I just got broken-heart was not a good choice. I promised him one thing that I would be tough and strong no matter what happened.

Greenhollow never be so green when I said goodbye to it. My father insisted to drive me two hours long to the capital city where successful was ahead for those who wanted to achieve it. My father then complimented my taste when it was about a place to live. My first apartment was a low-end one. A simple room to sleep, cook, eat, bath, and stuff. A perfect modest apartment to fulfill your basic needs. It got only one bedroom and one bathroom while dining room can be also used as living room. It called first level of life, I believed. After unpacked three luggage and three ramen noodles, my father excused himself home.

The very next day was not oh-so-good-day for me. Early in the morning I struggled to even prepare myself a good breakfast, so I ended up buying an onion bagel which actually the worst breakfast when you had an interview for residency positions ahead on your to-do-next agenda. So, I spent the next ten minutes brushing my teeth at hospital’s restroom—it was weird for me to bring a toothbrush along with its toothpaste but thank God I did—before made myself in to the interview room.

Like my father always say, _Good news often come to those who seek for it_ , and it was turned out to be true. Only in 24 hours later the awaited announcement came out. Westergold Memorial Hospital accepted my application after—what they called as—so much deliberation due to my acceleration program which was gaining expertise's worries about _the born of premature doctor_. I did not forget to deliver the good news to my father and of course Mr. Cha. I was about to dial Seokjin’s number before our break up moment flashed in my head and stopped me from calling.

“Our procedure, however,” The residency program director said, “required every residents to be guarded and assisted by one residency supervisor. We selected you a proper supervisor whom also experienced with an acceleration program. You will be assigned to meet him this afternoon. My assistant will call you for any further information.”

Miss Choi—she wanted to be called despite of her face was more like a Mrs. to me—was a residency program director’s assistant for nearly three years. People said she was kind-hearted but not to me obviously. The moment she phoned me to give me information about the place where I should meet my residency supervisor was also the moment for me to find out how _bitch_ she was. The sassy voice of her didn’t fit so much with her shorter figure and soft expression. Which later I knew, that her resting bitch face was caused by whom my residency supervisor was.

“Here is the address.” Miss Choi gave me a piece handwritten paper.

**_A M B I E N C E   Fine Dining Restaurant_ **

**_430 Ivory Lane, Westergold_ **

“Wow.” Shocked by the location, “What should I wear?”

Miss Choi scanned me up and down before said, “A burlap sack will be better.” And then with that she just left the room.

No matter how I fancy the idea of wearing a burlap sack to a fine dining restaurant, I still chose a more appropriate dress. With a grey round neck long sleeve loose mini dress I made an entrance at Ambience, the most high price restaurant at Westergold. Oh, how I already missing the solitude, calm, and warm of Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop. I prepared amount of cash ahead, in case my supervisor is a parsimonious kind of guy.

Miss Choi told me that he would be waiting at the table number 27, so I went straight to it where a familiar figure covered his face with a menu book, either he pretended to make his face out of sight or not.

“Excuse me. I am Lee Yoonjin. Miss Choi told me that-“

“Yeah, unfortunately I am assigned to be your residency supervisor. Sit down and let’s get this through.”

When I caught his eyes my chest was heavy and suddenly I was not being able to breath normally again. That was him, my celebrity crush was my residency supervisor. _Park Chanyeol_. That was why Miss Choi was being nothing but a _bitch_ towards me.

 

_to be continued_


	4. NEW OLD PAGE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Move on is something too easy to say but too hard to do. The good thing about move on is linger on its process. Because once you told yourself to move on and not being able to find the start line, someone will guide you to it you will be finally able to make a pilot step on the process. Make every steps count.

Park Chanyeol is a well-known and an aspiring meds student with thousand of achievements—I’m exaggerating on that, just trying to imply how amazing he was—. Busy with my goal to get M.D. degree on time made me lost track on what kind of life this young man made, although my vision was not too far from what I looked. He got himself a steady job at Westergold Memorial Hospital, thanks to his well-working brain and high self-esteem. Being a doctor also mean spent less time at home but his parents stated on one of articles that they did not feel like having a busy-working son as he spent enough time with family. Family-oriented, smart, diligent, rich, what else should other people demanded from this Park Chanyeol guy when he was basically had everything in hand.

However, a full-packaged Chanyeol did not come along with his well-behaved in socializing especially when he came in face to face with someone whom physically and financially _lower_ than him and in this case was me. Just put mine and Chanyeol’s life side by side then you would find a massive gap between them. He was living the sky while I was living the- well, you know what. So, I could understand the way he stared at other people, the way he lifted his chin up, and the way he smirked every time someone said something that probably sounded so stupid for him, all that because he thought everyone were below him that he had everybody’s life on the palm of his hand which resulted my celebrity crush on him crushed on that moment.

“Apparently, Mr. Director pointed me out to be your supervisor because our acceleration education background which seemingly rare among Westergold’s doctor.” Chanyeol said between picking out dinner menu, “Which also means Westergold people are dumber than a hillbilly.”

 _So, I am a hillbilly_? _Wow, this guy really has a death wish_.

“I’m gonna say it straight to the point without preamble.” He said lifting his gaze up to meet my eyes.

Nothing I could do beside stared back at him and tried my best to not spit fire thorugh my gaze because I could feel anger was raising, “Okay.” I said ever so softly. A fake soft.

He hold up his five fingers and bent it one by one as the sentence ended, “No stupid basic question, you learnt that at school. Go straight to the OR every time you’re being needed. Do whatever I ask you to do. Quick not careless decision is important. No feeling attached.” He paused a bit, “Alright, all set. You’re free to go.”

“That’s it?!” I was surprised by my tone but what the _hell_ I was totally shocked, “I mean we’re not going to discuss about work or something?”

He scoffed, “You are a meds student. Should be understand about it long before you take residency program. Learn by yourself and try to not lean on somebody. You can’t count on other people every time everyday. You have to be strong and independent.”

_Okay, on that one I totally agreed. But, oh come on! I was dressed for nothing!_

“Where are you from?” He asked.

“Greenhollow.”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows, “So I’m not mistakenly addressed you as a hillbilly then.”

I sighed, “If that’s all, then I’ll excuse myself.” I said standing up abpruptly and bowed once before leaving the restaurant.

The very next day I met Chanyeol down at the cafeteria when I intended to grab a quick lunch before went back to my shift. Strangely, he did not even greet me. Either he was pretending to not recognize me or he forgot how my face looks like. He ignored me until I had to brave myself to speak up to him asking something about our recent patient. He almost choked on his coffee.

“Are you really asking me that?!” He raised his voice which made almost everyone at the cafeteria paid their attention towards us.

The question was not stupid, at least for me. One careless step could send our patient straight to mortuary and I did not want to be the one who do that. However, the sudden increased voice stopped me middle way and did not have to wait for his reply to make my way out of the cafetaria and found myself crying at backside park. Some people would stare at me either sympathetically or sinistically.

Three days later I found myself being called to Director’s room after received an information about my sudden decrease of performance. At first, I intended to tell him about how my infamous supervisor treated me but then something that Director said stop me. He stated that it was their mistake at first to accept my application, also said that I should be stay at Greenhollow and apply there instead. Did not receive the blame, I made an oath. Quite exaggerated it too.

“Listen, Mr. Director. I’m not begging you to give me another chance but just spare me three days top to fix my grades and performance. If in those three days I don’t meet your expectation then please, feel free to kick me out of here.”

I no longer had curfew hours even I spent two days with no sleep to finish some work and spent almost 24 hours a day at the hospital. Despite of how rude Chanyeol was, I did not fail to ignore his unnecessary comments and went straight to do what I have to do. He asked for coffee, then he got a coffee. He asked for a lunch date, then he got a lunch date. He asked for an extra blanket, the he got an extra blanket. Even I granted his most ridiculous request by the end of the three days. I went back to Director’s room to hear my performance had increase that my Director was quite proud and later I sent my apology about my lack of good performance and for a future oncologyst I should not have do that.

“Oh by the way,” The Director said, “a new resident is being transferred today. He is coming from your hometown and I think he knows you. He is waiting for you at the cafetaria. I assigned you to give him a little tour and a quick explanation about us.”

The cafetaria was full of people and I had a hard time to find this certain individual. Only, he did not throw his habit away by introduced himself to every single thing that move in the room. So I ran and gave him a surprise back hug.

“Jimin!”

“Oh, my God! You’re real!” He exclaimed turning inside himself to hug me back, “I thought the Director lied when he said you are here.”

“What should he lie about it?”

Jimin shrugged, “Don’t know. To make me accept the offer?”

“The offer?”

“He personally called me and asked me to be one of his residency. I’m just, apparently, too outstanding for Greenhollow hospital.”

“Watch your mouth, young man. You’re facing the true Greenhollow.”

Jimin applied for residency position at Greenhollow Hospital but due to their lack of facilities and Jimin’s need to improve, which also supported by his outstanding performance, Westergold asked him to be their resident doctor instead. After knowing Jimin’s permanent position as resident doctor here he became my only friend even we shared the same apartment building the following day which made him as my new next door neighbor. It was surprising that Jimin did not mention Seokjin at all every time we were together which was 24/7, so I eventually asked about it on one of our days off.

“Do you happen to hear anything about Seokjin?” I asked nonchalantly.

Jimin stopped eating his ramen, “The last time I hear, he moved to Silverlake and has his own production house there.” He replied cautiously.

“Wow, that boy is really spread his wings.”

Later Jimin did not tell my anything again unless the question was being asked. Eventually, the questions came in stop from being asked after five months of my residency time. Jimin and I had different schedule so we only met each other when we met at the apartment building or went to the cafetaria. The next seven months were brutal, even I surprised that I did not fall sick when I barely had enough time to sleep and eat. Thank God though, the amount time of work was enough for to escape from Chanyeol’s annoying _ass_ even though he always found a way to trace me and ordered me around for once in awhile.

First winter night on Decembe Jimin and I decided to take the latest night bus home to Greenhollow and wanted to spend our seven days of holiday there, but to my unfortunate luck Chanyeol paged me. So, Jimin came home alone while I drove a different bus up to the northside of Westergold. With face full of rage that I had my best to cover, I made an entrance to the almighty Dr. Park Chanyeol’s room in the middle of the night. With a cup of hot cocoa in hand, he looked up and smiled. _This bastard, better be important_.

“Heard you were already at the bus station heading to Greenhollow with your boyfriend?”

“Yes and no. He’s not my boyfriend.” I took a seat in front of him, “Anything you want me to help, Dr. Park?”

“Not your boyfriend?” He raised one of his eyebrows.

“Yes.” _What? Was he surprised?_

“But you live together.” He said again.

I sighed, “We are not living together. We live in the same building and that doesn’t mean we _are_ together. We just want to save some money, that’s all.” I said and slightly surprised by how it sounded like a self defense.

“So you have no special relationship with him?”

“No.” I shook my head, “With all due respect, doc, why you paged me again?”

“Oh.” He jumped from his seat, “I’ll drive you down to Greenhollow myself. Come on.” He was reaching his own coat when I stopped him.

“So, someone isn’t dying?”

“Pardon me?” Chanyeol looked over his shoulder slightly taken aback.

“I mean you _paged_ me, there’s must be something important to do, right?” I did my best to put an emphasis to the word ‘paged’.

Chanyeol sighed, “I’ll drive you home.” He said instead.

“That is unnecessary, I believe. I still can catch the next night bus.”

“No, I insist. I can’t stand watch that silly mittens on your hand. You’ll be freezing if you take a bus.”

 _This is not silly but you are_ , “Please, I can take a b-“

My words were being cut off as Chanyeol dragged me all the way down to the basement where he apparently parked his own Mercedes-Benz AMG G65. Honestly, I could not stand any more Mercedes in my life but every men which were surrounding my life grew fond of Mercedes, so I gave up eventually. We hit the almost empty road nearly 01.00 AM and the entire ride was just silent with a soft sound from the radio.

“Is it fine for me to take a quick turn for coffee at the nearest rest area?” Chanyeol asked which surprisingly in polite manner.

“Sure.” I nodded, “See, this is why doc, you shouldn’t drive me home.”

“Please, just Chanyeol.”

The silence fell again between us after Chanyeol took his quick coffee and I took a quick run to the bathroom. Truthfully, the silence felt more awkward after Chanyeol sudden change of mood because he was usually rude, cocky, and all. Once we entered Greenhollow city limit, Chanyeol asked me for the direction and made it safe in front of my house by 03.30 AM.

“Thanks again, doc- Chanyeol.” I smiled.

“Sorry for paging you earlier. I just need to see you and the new resident separate just once. I heard you two are living together so I guess, I just need to-“

“His name is Jimin.” I chuckled, “And for what possible reason, doc?”

“You called me ‘doc’ again and now I feel like I’m a freaking old car in Cars movie.” Chanyeol sighed.

“Okay.” I chuckled, “Sorry.”

“See, I gotta blame my parents for sure because I believe this is hereditary.” He paused while I waited for him to continue, “I’m not quite good on using my mouth except for insult, swear, and scream. So, I want to apologize for my action since your first day of your residency period.” He took another pause maybe silently hoping for me to say at least something but I did not have any idea of what should I say at that time so I kept my mouth shut instead, “I believe you have mistakenly take my behavior as an act to push you away and you’d probably hate me until today. While, in reality, my intention is quite the opposite. It’s just my way to show you my interest is quite- let’s say, unique.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Show me your interest?”

“I like you, okay.” Chanyeol breathed out as if he was holding the O2 for a really long time, “And I don’t have a quite of self-confident to say it out loud.”

I couldn’t suppress my grin seeing a chance to attack, “What about ‘ _no feeling attached_ ’?”

He smiled and his smile was actually kind of cute since I could not properly see it everyday he even had a little dimple there, “I am too, sometimes can be pretty stupid to set boundaries ahead before get down to the war land.”

There was a long awkward silence which Chanyeol would only steal some glances toward my direction and I strangely found it cute but I was exhausting and need my bed immediately, not to mention it was almost four in the morning. So, I made a move first by unbuckling my seatbelt so did Chanyeol.

“Well, thanks again.” I said smiling awkwardly didn’t know what to do next.

“Wait, so what are we?”

“What are we?” I asked him, confused.

“I mean, I confessed and you just excuse yourself out? That’s not fair!” He exclaimed.

“What you want me to do?”

“Say something about my confession.” He demanded with furrowed eyebrows.

“Umm- thanks?” I said looking at annoyed Chanyeol now gripping the steering wheel even tighter.

“Don’t you feel weird when I offered you a lift home? Well, not just a home though, it’s hometown.” He said slightly giving up with his attempt to show his effort by driving two hours long.

“It’s strange, yeah.” I said almost whispered.

“Can’t you see something behind that? I mean, I know I was being nothing but a jerk towards you all this time, but when it comes to heart no one can escape from it. I can’t lie about it.”

“It just doesn’t feel right, Chanyeol.” It took me few second before carried out on talking as I saw Chanyeol kept on silent, “Honestly, I had this celebrity crush on you at first.” An unexpected chuckle came from both of us and somehow left the tense air away, “Because of college projects and stuff, I had to read some of your books and as I read them I admired you. But then when I met you in person I-“

“Yeah, I am actually a piece of _shit_ am I?” He laughed on himself, “You should better get going then. Take some rest. Sorry for stealing your night away.”

Seokjin got himself a special spot in me after everything that ever happened between us, the spot that anyone could not fill so easily even after months or probably years. Having Chanyeol let his heart out did not help either, it only confused me even more. So, after few seconds I excused myself for real didn’t forget to apologize for doing nothing about the confession which he answered by a soft _‘It’s okay’_. It was not good to let someone else driving in upset but I had no other way. Better than let him driving with rejection.

My first three days were spent nowhere but home and having my father cooked my meals from sunrise until sunset. Then on the fourth day, a short message from Jimin asking me to meet him at Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop—the only place I had been avoid since my first day here—finally got me out of the house. Mr. Cha gave me a warm fatherly smile when I paid my first visit after moved out to Westergold and told me how he missed me so much and honestly I did too.

“How did you come here? Grab another night bus? Hitchhiking?” Jimin asked after he got himself a cup of hot cocoa with exactly five marshmallow on it.

“Hitchhiking.” I said nonchalantly sipping my own hot cocoa.

“Really?!” Jimin was taken aback, “A ghost rider?”

“Yeah, right.” I chuckled, “Chanyeol drove me himself.”

“What?!” Jimin was more than suprised by my answer, “That was definitely a ghost rider.”

I laughed, “It was.”

“So he just drove you all the way here and nothing happened after that?” Jimin sounded way too excited on my story.

“Well, that’s what I’m about to tell you and probably asking for your advise too.” I said as Jimin scooted closer nodding, “Chanyeol confessed. He said he likes me and he was seemingly upset when I said nothing about it.”

Jimin threw his hands up in frustration, “Of course, you big _ass_ fool!”

“Did you just call me _big ass fool_?!”

“Look, Yoonjin.” Jimin quickly said ignoring the fact that I was feeling offended, “When someone confessed to you, you should not keep silent about it. You should either _accept_ or _reject_ it. Not hanging the poor guy up.”

“It didn’t feel right, Jimin. Especially after what happened between me and Seokjin.” I took a pause to calm myself down as I saw Jimin’s expression softened, “I saw Chanyeol’s sincerety but I couldn’t give myself away to move on like that.”

“Live your life.” Jimin said ever so softly, “It’s been months and he-“

“How is he doing though?” I asked and only be answered with a silent, “Seokjin. How is he doing?”

“You said you need my advise right?” Jimin asked and I nodded upon the question, “Move on. Hanging on your past won’t take you anywhere.”

And Jimin got the point. _Hanging on your past won’t take you anywhere_. The words were too hurt too be true so it eventually led me to another new day after spent seven days off at Greenhollow reflecting myself and contemplating every reasons for me to leave my past behind which finally I did. I swore to myself to live the _new_ me. I met Chanyeol the next day by the hallway. He only nodded when I bowed at him. He was pretty much avoiding me for the next three days and never once he paged me after the confession thing. Decided to end the cold war, I bravely knocked on his office door. He looked up and quickly brought his gaze back down to his laptop after knowing who was entering the room.

“Doc, someone need you.” I said taking one step closer toward his table.

“Who?” He asked without looking up. His hands were moving so fast over the keyboard.

“Me.” I said nonchalantly.

He sighed closing his laptop down, “Playing with my feeling will decrease your performance and I can kick you out of this hospital.”

He played another _cold_ and _hard to get_ kinda thing, “What do you mean?” Two two could play the game.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I know you ain’t that stupid.”

“Seriously what?” I let out a soft chuckle and he probably couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why you need me?”

“To apologize for hanging up on you the other day.” I said taking a seat after he motioned me to sit down across him and his interest was shown on his face, “I couldn’t think about it properly and I need to sleep back then. So, I probably left you a wrong message.”

“Yeah, all I could catch is that I’m a piece of unwanted _shit_. Hate myself to make you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” I said ever so quickly and slightly taken aback after it, “I mean not really, I stil hate you.”

“So, you need me to hear you that you hate me?” He scoffed.

“No. I want to apologize and want to remind you that I still h- have that- that, you know, celebrity crush on you. So- yeah, I think that’s it. And the truth is, I feel like you are avoiding me. Too obvious since you always bother me, literally everyday.”

“Do you miss being paged?” He asked still in flat and cold tone while leaned forward slightly, “Or do you miss being bothered?” A full smirk was being played on the corner of his lips, “Or do you just miss _me_?” He put an emphasis when he said ‘ _me_ ’.

“Well I- I- I think I should g- get going.”

Last time I checked, my resident supervisor wasn’t a super-villain moreover superhero whose speed as fast as light but myself questioned that when he was pulling my hand by the time I decided to leave his room. He practically rounded his wide _ass_ table to only grab me by my upper hand prevented me from going.

“I’m being jerk again am I?” He asked sternly stared right through my eyes.

His breath tickled and sent me goosebumps knowing how close our faces were. I couldn’t and didn’t dare to look up because I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Afraid if something that I scared was obviously shown on his face. Love was the thing that afraid of. But Chanyeol didn’t loosen his grip it went stronger instead in every seconds as if he was asking me to see his face right through his eyes. A single tug on my hand jolted me and sent shiver down my spine when I looked up to meet his intense gaze. There, I looked something oddly terrifying yet beautiful at the same time. His gaze was not a stern one, it was intense a softly intense.

“I’m being jerk again am I?” Chanyeol repeated the unanswered question which I absentmindedly skipped.

“W- what? Y- ye- I mean, no! Yes! Wait, what was the question again?”

Chanyeol laughed letting my hand go, “You are cute.”

The words hit me like a lightning struck a tree. I was out of my mind because the words kept on ringing inside my head and strangely it wasn’t Chanyeol’s voice. It was Seokjin when he said I am cute back then on our first encounter at Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop.

“Yoonjin, are you okay?” Chanyeol asked me again, I knew he was worried about me probably more to my sudden changed expression.

“Yeah, I guess so.” The nervousness suddenly vanished, “I’m sorry. Again. I think I’m not in my best state at the moment. Will you forgive me?”

“No. I should be the one who say sorry. After all this time. My feeling is too much to handle so seeing you everyday doesn’t help either.” He took a deep breath still fixing his gaze on mine, “Yes, I’ve been avoiding you but _shit_ I just can’t get you out of my mind.” He put his hands on my shoulder, “Look, I know if you’re not interested but at least say something about it. Say you’re not interested and I won’t bother you for the rest of your life. I promise.”

“I never say I’m not interested.”

_to be continued_


	5. PRESENT TIME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes life does not work like how it has to be. Rationally, when you see an enemy you will unconsciously try to take him down. But what will you do when you see your significant other is trying to help your past who is basically his enemy?

_End of flashback_

 

“Your what?!” Chanyeol drops his jaw.

A man in front of me is laughing, a force one though, “I believe I’m specifically saying that she is my-“

“Ex, I know.” Chanyeol cuts Seokjin off immediately, “I just feel I have to make sure of it.” Still in shock state, Chanyeol turns to face me, “How can you never tell me about him?”

“You never tell him about me?” Seokjin asks, only I sense a little confusion on the way the question being asked, “Wait, who are you really?”

“Her fiance.”

“Wow.” Seokjin seems pretty surprise by the answer so do I and I believe Chanyeol does too. Seokjin takes few glances over me with furrowed eyebrows or probably he is just taken aback because he himself know who Park Chanyeol is, “I’m sorry I t- thought you’re just her mentor, Doc. I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol is about to say something but I catch the chance to shorten their shocking state, “So what’s the problem actually?” I finally able to say something after tried my best to avoid any more questions regarding my private past especially when two of the main actors are here with me.

Seokjin stares at me for a quite long seconds before finally put himself together and start talking, “She checked herself in last night without me.”

“Yeah, some strangers found her collapsed by the sidewalk.” Chanyeol adds more like to tell me the information since I got down to the business without knowing any about it, “Is he even your wife?”

“The strangers are her friends. She was in her night-out and long story short one of them called and told me about Shinyoung passed out. I told them to get her to the hospital and I drove myself here last night. Took four hours to get here.”

“Where do you live?” Chanyeol asks.

“Silverlake.” Seokjin firmly answers.

“You two live together?”

“Chanyeol!” I whisper more to Chanyeol’s inappropriate question while Seokjin sighs and smiles a bit.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Chanyeol apologized rather so quickly.

Seokjin nods, “It’s okay. Anyway, I just want to say thank you for saving her life.”

Seokjin uses hospital administration as his excuse to exclude himself from our three ways conversation. He lingers his gaze on me few seconds longer before finally disappear by the hallway. He still looks like old Seokjin. Same hair style, same outfit style, and same playful smile. The only thing that makes him different is he looks maturer in every way I never imagine, either because he is already married or because he gets older. As I examine Seokjin’s back slowly fades away, Chanyeol lost in his own thought and start mumbling something to himself which I accidentally hear.

“Something’s wrong.” Chanyeol says for few times now and it gets pretty annoying.

“What’s wrong?”

“Two main symptoms of endometriosis is pain and infertility and also other signs of the disease which can be found easily through daily activities, like worse menstrual cramps, painful bowel movements or painful urination, fatigue, tiredness, even pain during or after sex. These people are married, Yoonjin. They are married!” Chanyeol exclaims.

“And?” I still cannot find anything wrong about it until Chanyeol reveals the ace card.

“And Seokjin doesn’t know single thing about his wife’s disease. Do they even live together? Moreover, do they sexually active?” Chanyeol get a point, “I don’t understand.”

I cringe a bit by the mention of _sexually active_ , “How do you know Seokjin doesn’t know about it?”

“Because he asked me almost everything before you arrived. He doesn’t have a clue about his wife’s past and current condition.” Chanyeol shakes his head, “Clearly something is wrong.”

“If you start to interfere their private life, I’m out.” I say after knowing where Chanyeol’s words lead me to.

“I think we should test them out.”

I cannot believe Chanyeol’s blatant suggestion. Does he forget who Seokjin is? Now, let’s put some possible scenarios if we are really do some test on both Seokjin and Shinyoung. If we get the test result and having conclusion that they are sexually active regardless the fact that they are married, my heart will still hurt. Knowing he is already married is give me a big enough impact. But, if we get the conclusion stating that they are not sexually active while on the other side Shinyoung is clearly the one who is sexually active, I cannot imagine Seokjin’s life fall apart in front of his own eyes. I don’t have a heart to see him upset and sad about it. Seeing someone else devastated is the last thing I want to see as a doctor, regardless of whoever it is.

Jimin is running down the hallway when I make an entrance to our sleep room. I’m about to take another nap when he is literally barking and screaming out my name. My head snap in shock and is ready to yell at Jimin before he start to spill words like a thunder.

“I saw him!” He says between panting, “I saw Kim _freaking_ Seokjin! I just saw him!”

I shrug nonchalantly, “I just _talked_ to him.”

“You knew?!” He gasps, “Why didn’t you tell me? Is he okay? Is he alright?”

“Woah woah woah, wait.” I hold up both hands, “Don’t act like you haven’t seen him for ages. God know how close you all are.”

“Well, honestly we haven’t seen him since six months ago.”

Upon my shock expression Jimin starts telling me the story with Seokjin’s sudden absence a week before his disappearance on their week get together six months ago. Seokjin acted all weird, Jimin says, he kept on silence and did nothing except checking his cellphone every five minutes. The change of habit sparked Taehyung’s anger and they started to have a heated argument. Jimin also adds that he never seen Seokjin exploded like that time. After the event, Seokjin didn’t come and they faced their hard time trying to reach him while on the other hand Taehyung could not stop blaming himself. So, that’s why Jimin spills the questions faster than a light speed.

“So, what is he doing here actually?” Jimin asks once again.

“His wife is here.”

“His what?!” Jimin exclaims and judging by how the way he expresses his shockness I bet he doesn’t know about who the _hell_ I’m talking about.

“His wife. Kim Shinyoung. Does- Wait, you don’t know about it?”

Jimin shakes his head in full speed, “ _Fucking_ no! I don’t even know he has a girlfriend. _Fuck_!”

The need of letting out my anger is almost unbearable and I cannot just let it explode to the poor Jimin who is apparently keep on wondering about his best friend’s whereby and condition and also feel the same feeling as I do, furious. Seokjin is not an abnormal person, I believe. As his friends always say, he will not keep his mouth shut when he is happy. This happened when they had their overseas trip together to Stockholm where Seokjin could not keep the news about us being together. Isn’t marriage also one of that happy news? Yet Jimin, one of his closest friends, has no idea about it. I leave the frustrated Jimin who is busy with his own thought and personally asks to be left alone.

Seventh floor balcony is one of my hideout places since my resident time mainly because I kept avoiding Chanyeol when he did not stop his over-romantic plan once the whole hospital knew about our relationship and Jimin would occasionally laugh at my face and called me an ‘anti romantic girl’. This place is also become the silent witness of Chanyeol’s hidden proposal. After learning about how I’m pathetically hate his romantic gesture, he completed his own mission by luring me out to seventh floor balcony—especially thanks to Jimin because he just made me worried when he said something about jumping off the building—where Chanyeol stood up with only his white lab coat over his shirt fought the cold holding a red velvet box in hand. There was no kneeling down on one knee thing, just Chanyeol and me stood up at the seventh floor balcony while he reached my left hand and slides the entwined diamond ring after I said _Yes_. However, I have different moment here when I step outside the balcony and it’s about my past who makes his appearance along with a shocking news and circumstances. Then my thoughts are being disturbed with a soft sneeze from my left.

“Hi.” The person smile after wiping off whatever it is on his nose.

“Seokjin?” I softly say, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be down there with your wife?”

“She is sleeping, what else I can do.”

 _Well, he got a point_.

“What are you doing here?” It is Seokjin’s turn to ask me the same question, “Shouldn’t you be down there with your fiance?”

“This is my workplace and I can go wherever I want. Besides, he is working, what else I can do.”

Seokjin chuckles and it contains so many memories and it sound is addictive, “Well, I’m sorry, Doc.” His smile goes wider when I laugh along with him, “So what does it feel to actually be what you want to be?”

I pretend to think, “Well, it takes a lot of hard work and sleepless day but it’s all paid off.”

“And it also takes a heart to be sacrificed, isn’t it?”

Seokjin’s words surprise the _hell_ out of me it shuts me down. Only another soft chuckle which ever come out from him and no words are following behind. We stay in a comfort silent for few seconds before Seokjin leans forward to reach my left hand. My mind says to retreat my hand off of his grip but my heart says don’t. I’m pretty sure I’m in my worst condition because I listen more to my heart and feel something warm fills me up as I let Seokjin’s finger trails the form of my engagement ring.

“It’s beautiful.” He compliments.

“Thank you.” I say retracting my left hand slowly as he also loosening his grip.

“His choice or yours?”

“His, I think. I didn’t see the proposal coming.

Seokjin nods, “He is a full of surprise kinda man, isn’t he?”

I shrug, “Maybe. Don’t exactly know.”

“He is definitely more handsome than me, isn’t he?” Seokjin chuckles, “So you are real.” He says again after a brief pause leaning slightly to put his elbow on the railing, “Jimin said you two work at the same hospital. I thought he was kidding.”

“Have you talk to him?” I ask unconsciously leave his statement unresponded, “When was the last time you two meet?”

Upon to my question, Seokjin seems a bit contemplating whether he should or should not answer it. His act leads me to the conclusion that he really was missing for six months and haven’t seen his friends until today. He probably caught Jimin too somewhere here in the hospital because Jimin is literally always roaming the hospital to greet people around, but maybe Seokjin for some reason avoids him. It sparks my curiosity despite of how unnecessary it is for me to know about his life anymore.

“Don’t even even lie to my face, Seokjin.” I say after impatiently waiting for his answer.

“Why did you ask when you already know?” Seokjin says rather so—to my surprise—calmly.

“Seokjin, did you really not telling your friends about your wedding?” I can’t hold my anger and Seokjin’s silenceness is slowly killing me, “For God’s sake, Seokjin! I would understand if you didn’t tell me about it, but your friends?! I’m angry because I know how Jimin is so worried about your well being! I’m angry because I know Taehyung can’t stop blaming himself because of you both argued! I’m angry because how pathetic you are to disappear like that and enjoy your own happiness while leaving your miserable friends behind!”

“Enjoy?” Seokjin growls, “Enjoy my happiness, you say?” His voice is slowly raising, “I’m missing you every single day and silently hope Jimin to say something about you without me asking and tried my best to not ending my life because I want to be with you, sounds like happiness to you?!”

“Oh, don’t ever start with it, Seokjin.” I hiss not believing Seokjin just say something stupid.

“Start with what?” His voice come out like a whisper but I can see the anger behind it, “I miss you, Yoonjin. I’m trying to reach you but I can’t, because I stupidly listen more to my ego rather following where my heart goes. I even went to Mr. Cha’s in hoping to find you there.”

“Kim Seokjin, wake up!” I’m no longer afraid to scream because God knows how angry I am, “Your wife is lying down there, dying! _Fucking_ dying! And you just say something terrible like that with no shame! Are you out of your mind?!”

He shakes his head and goes on, “Never ever single day I stop loving you, Yoonjin.”

“For God’s sake, Seokjin. Are you cra-“

“But now, I have to.” He cuts me off and leave me speechless, “I hate that I have to from the moment I saw that ring on your finger, especially after I knew who give that to you. On top of that, I know you two will make a perfect couple together and rule the world someday. Who knows, probably make it be a better place too.”

Seokjin takes a step forward and takes another one when I don’t bug or flinch when he does  Then he tucks a bit of my hair behind my ear, ever so softly. I can see his expression gets soften when he retracts his hand and looks at me deeply.

“I don’t want my dear friends to pity me so I left. I have no enough courage to tell them, yet. But I promise, I want tell them.” Seokjin’s voice comes out at whisper and it sounds perfect like I always remember.

“About what?” The voice of mine gets weaker every time his signature scent hits my nose and how his breath calm my nerve.

“About everything you called _happiness_. Because what you think is not the reality. I love you, Yoonjin. I always do.”

Seokjin leans forward and in a flash he captures my lips for a mere of seconds, short but deep and meaningful. The time I open my eyes, he smiles and quickly disappear from sight leaving me longing and wanting more of his sinful touches, hugs, and kisses. I miss him already and this feeling is more way complicated than I thought. I regain my composure after calming myself down and take a deep breath. Seokjin is real, he is fine and healthy, at least, despite of what he has said which is still a mystery to me. I’m glad that I got to find him again and—call me crazy—to kiss him again. Feeling the warm as our lips intertwined and sparks the butterflies inside. I can feel his pure love, but he is married and I’m engaged. Our love story has end too many years ago. We both agreed to throw the moments away. But then have we really throw that all? Or something actually left behind? Oh, come on! He is married. He is someone else’s husband and I’m not a homewrecker.

My encounter—or should I say my _affair_ encounter—with Seokjin makes me forget about my days off. Usually I’m hyped when it comes to days off because I get to out from the hospital and leave all medicine smell for few days behind before get back to work. But today, unlike those days off, I don’t want to leave the hospital. Mainly because I know Seokjin is here too, under the same roof. Can I call this love again? Happy just because I catch the sight of him smiling over something on his phone. Glad when I see him gets to talk with Jimin and ends their conversation with a hug. And feel blessed when I get to see Seokjin eat his dinner deliciously down by the cafeteria. Is it love?

“I tested him out.” Chanyeol breaks my daydream when he, without knocking, enters my sleep room. Chanyeol probably also makes sure that Jimin is nowhere around.

“Still have no idea why should you do this.” And still have no idea either why should he discuss this thing with me. Doesn’t he catch the code when Seokjin said _ex-boyfriend_?

“Still have no idea why you didn’t have sex with him.” Chanyeol says nonchalantly, “I know you are an old school but him too? I mean, how can he said no to this?” He points me up and down.

I gasp, “Chanyeol! I can report you from misusing your authority as a gynecologist!”

“You miss the point, love.” Chanyeol says softly handing me a piece of paper about a test result. As I read the test result Chanyeol goes on, “We found semen last night and it still on the lab, the result probably will out this afternoon. The thing is-“ Chanyeol pauses to take an exaggerating inhale, “-Seokjin is not sexually active even after his marriage five months ago.”

“Five months ago? He is married five months ago?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Chanyeol asks in curiosity.

“That’s not the point. Go on.” I order him to continue.

“If Seokjin is not sexually active while on the other hand we both know Shinyoung is sexually active, judging by the circumstances the semen we found last night most likely not Seokjin’s.”

I shake my head in disbelief, “He probably lie to you, Chanyeol.”

He shrugs, “People say you cannot lie to two kinds of people, the lawyers and the doctors. Because they got your life on their hands.”

“Yeah, but it’s not Seokjin who is dying, it’s his wife. He can tell lies.”

“I don’t know about you, but I can tell Seokjin is not sexually active. I can prove it scientifically.” Chanyeol seems sure about it as he says it with confident.

“Chanyeol, you do aware we are talking about my ex, don’t you?” I scoff chuckling a bit.

He smiles nodding his head softly, “Yeah, but I kinda pity him you know.”

“Why?” I ask in confusion.

“Nothing.” Chanyeol smiles, “Put aside your personal life, love. We have to be professional on this.” And again Chanyeol got a point. We try to help him and his wife professionally.

Decide to end my days off, Jimin and I are agreed to have some Chinese take outs for dinner and he decides to spend a night at my apartment. He rings a bell at 9.30 PM with take outs as he promised to bring along. We sit down in front of my—Jimin called it as—big _ass_ flat TV with Frozen playing on the screen. Jimin still want to prove himself that he can hit Idina Mizel’s high note as perfect as possible.

“See?! I can hit that note!” Jimin yells with his hoarse voice it nearly breaks.

I can’t stop myself from laughing out loud, “Stop it Jimin! I can’t hardly hear you!”

“Okay, I’ll stop.” He says taking a seat, “ _Shit_ , how even Jungkook does that. Even Seokjin can’t beat him- Uh oh, sorry.”

“What?” I asks munching on my last spoon of noodles.

“I just mentioned him, sorry.” He grins.

“It’s okay. We’re fine. We just talked earlier this afternoon you know.” _And kissed too_.

“Beautifully ended?” He is teasing, I can tell from the way he say it.

“Our love life is ended six years ago. Oh wait, speaking of. Do you know the wedding was held five months ago?”

Jimin stops whatever he’s doing, “ _Shit_ , what? Of course he didn’t tell me, he was missing six months ago. Something is definitely wrong.”

“He didn’t tell you? What did he tell you then?”

“Something like he went off to meet his parents and his parents’ closest friend and something happen between him and Shinyoung. He also stated that Shinyoung is his parents’ closest friend’s only daughter whom- Wait a minute.”

Seems like Jimin catches something like I do because we can put the images together in one frame only the sight of it is still quite blurry. I also tell him that Seokjin said he doesn’t want to his friends to pity him but then hours later Chanyeol just stated that he is pitying him. What kind of nonsense is this? What did Seokjin tell to Chanyeol that he doesn’t tell to his friends and me? The only possibility from it is Seokjin’s and Shinyoung’s parents has decided to match them up so they can strengthen the friendship between two families. While we discuss this, I don’t tell Jimin about Seokjin’s confession in order to not make everything even more confusing, but I will definitely count that in. As long as I know—or I remember—Seokjin is a one woman at a time kinda guy, he will not easily confessing to another woman while _his_ woman is lying on a hospital bed dying. He is not that psycho. There is clearly something wrong.

The next morning, an early one, I drive my Mercedes-Benz AMG SL-65 in full speed and arrive at the hospital by 7 AM. Taking a big step and reach Shinyoung’s room in no time. Seokjin is nowhere around as I expected even though I can see his car parked down at the basement—I still remember his type of car and the license plate, blame me—. Shinyoung is lying there helplessly while I check her condition. Still no good progress as I predicted. She is too weak to be operated that time, but there were nothing else we can do and Chanyeol had made the right call back then. The front door is being opened abruptly shocking me in the process, because I think it’s Seokjin while in reality it’s Chanyeol whose eyebrows are raising in confusion.

“Why you up so early? Did you sleep in here?” Chanyeol asks walking closer and check on Shinyoung.

“No. I came home last night. Thought it would be nice if I just go and check her up.” I reply, “Did you sleep in here?”

Chanyeol nods after done with his examination on her, “Couldn’t get a nice one, though.”

He looks so worried, “Why is it? Something’s bothering you?”

“Kinda.” Chanyeol shrugs.

“Will you tell me about it?”

He makes a thinking face, “Let’s see by lunch, okay? I don’t know if I’m strong enough to hold it by myself.” He then excuses himself out and leave me alone with sleeping Shinyoung.

The last thing I expected from Chanyeol is him being mysterious and strangely quiet. Being his fiancee for almost few months now he is hardly can keep things by his own moreover a secret. Now think of it, he is holding my ex’s secret. As he promised, we come down to have lunch together at the cafeteria and he doesn’t like an usual Chanyeol. He keep his mouth shut 10 minutes first and clenches his fist before he begin to explode.

“Seokjin is the stupidest scumbag I’ve ever known!” Chanyeol exclaims.

“Wow, okay. That’s escalated quickly.” Remembering yesterday Chanyeol just said that he was pitying Seokjin about circumstances that I didn’t know yet.

Chanyeol starts with Seokjin came in to his room and had some small talks before the test began which led them into having a conversation about how him and Shinyoung met. It was when Seokjin’s family had a little picnic with Shinyoung’s family. Their parents has been bestfriends since so many years ago and having their child romantically linked also has been their dream for so long. Shinyoung is the only daughter and Seokjin is the only son, thought they would make a great couple only the actual event didn’t happen that way. Shinyoung is a full time art collector and consultant, she is basically an art expert and also an adventurous lover who is jumping out from one guy to another in a very short term and grew familiar with something like _hook up_ or _one night stand_. One day when the picnic happened, the families told them about their dream on becoming one family and Shinyoung took the chance saying in front of their faces that she has a long time crush on Seokjin and that he never realized it. Seokjin whom shocked by the sudden confession couldn’t say anything because the situation was too overwhelmed and it would be rude if he rejected her right there. Unfortunately, Seokjin silenceness led him to another misfortune event where the families already discussed about the date while Shinyoung was out having a party at God’s know where. All he knew that Shinyoung came home in drunk. Apparently, Shinyoung had offer herself to stay at Seokjin’s place with him only while Seokjin’s parents live in another town.

The story continues to Chanyeol explains that Seokjin did not want to lay a hand on Shinyoung because of three things. First, Seokjin believes that sexual encounter has to be done with two people who are madly in love and Seokjin made it clear by saying he doesn’t love Shinyoung. Second, after living together with Shinyoung, Seokjin knows all of her habit from occasionally getting drunk every weekends and on top of that her sex habit which is out of control. Seokjin decided to tell his parents about Shinyoung’s bad habits but they would not believe it because Shinyoung covered it pretty well and made herself always well-presented everytime their families met. Third, Seokjin is care about Shinyoung and he believes that he is not the person who can _wake_ her up from her bad habit. That’s why he always end up taking care of her at the end of the day.

“Long story short, is a forced marriage and Seokjin could do nothing about it.” Chanyeol ends his story with a long sip of his vanilla milkshake.

“Yeol, it could be a lie.” I say with a full hope that this is not a lie.

“Love, Seokjin is your ex and you are my fiancee. Rationally, I will not tell you this story and take his side. He is not lying, trust me. I’ve seen that kind of expression somewhere. That’s why I pity him.” Chanyeol back with his blank face, “I should help him.”

“Yeol, don’t be stupid.” I sigh ignoring Chanyeol’s sudden rare empathy but curiosity gets the best of me, “But how?”

Chanyeol shrugs still with a blank face, “Don’t know yet.” He moves his eyes to gaze on mine, “But I’ll definitely need your hand.”

“Yeol, you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you. You both are stranger. Why do you even want to help him? Jimin and I who knows him since old time, don’t even help him.”

“Because he told this to me. Not to you and not to Jimin. It has to be a reason behind that. And on top of that, I feel what he feels.”

“What is it?”

“Struggle.” Chanyeol sternly moves his gaze down to the table as if he is thinking about something, “And it kills you like _hell_.”

_to be continued_


	6. RUNNING BACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t do the same mistakes like I did. Don’t let your ego wins over your feeling. Sometimes, listening to what your heart says is more important than listening to your brain. If you want stars, asking for the stars. Don’t keep your mouth shut. I wish you told me instead.

“Love, it’s not even your days off.”

Despite of unwillingly let me go to Greenhollow after my late night shift, Chanyeol still help me carrying the bag which is containing some warm clothes and sweaters for my father and Mr. Cha. The weather is getting cold in here, bet Greenhollow’s weather drops few degrees lower than Westergold. My father still needs someone to take care of him since he refused to get married again, said he can’t let other people replace my mom’s role as his wife and that he has me, his little daughter, who will take care of him. On the other hand, Mr. Cha also needs someone to remind him that taking care of costumers is good but taking care of himself is a top priority. He always forget to keep himself warm because he is too busy to make people warm and comfortable.

“Greenhollow is getting colder, Yeol.” I sigh but smile knowing Chanyeol helps put in the last sweater and pick it up on his shoulder, “I need to take care of my father and probably pay a quick visit at Mr. Cha’s.”

“For years I’ve been listening about this Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop place yet you never once tag me along with you.” Chanyeol says, a hint of disappointment shown.

“I will. One day, Yeol. One day.”

The truth is, I’m afraid. My first fear is that the latest person I’m in relationship with is become my ex now when we were literally spending so much time together at Mr. Cha’s. As time passed, I realize that I’m not afraid of seeing the possibility for me breaking up with Chanyeol, but my true and greatest fear is similar to my father’s. I’m scared that someone will replace my memories with Seokjin there. The first meeting, the first date, the first night, and the break up. My love story is literally start and end at that place. I’m not lying though when I said I will bring Chanyeol there one day. Only that day is the day when I’m one hundred percent sure that I have no chance to bring Seokjin back or bring myself back to Seokjin and looking by the current circumstances, I believe that day is getting closer.

“Drive safely, Love. You haven’t sleep after your shift which is an hour ago and as your _boss_ I have to remind you, your shift start at 3.00 PM today.” Chanyeol puts an emphasis when saying _boss_. Bragging about his status again, I assume.

“Alright, dear boss.” I smile reaching for his shoulder when we arrive at basement parking lot as he squats down leveling his height with me and embrace my small figure.

“Cup of coffee on your way will be better.” Chanyeol breaks the hug and leans down to give me a soft tender kiss.

It’s warm when he travels his hands down to my waist while mine is traveling up circling his neck so slowly. When he is asking for an entrance, we hear some footsteps getting closer. We stop and few seconds later we burst into a quiet laugh as we pull back and retract our hands from each other.

“I hate ruiner.” Chanyeol whispers, panting. Can tell by the way his chest raises up and down in a quick motion, “Well, off you go then.”

It is pretty hard to drive at dawn. You can only rely on street lamps and your headlight seeing the sun is not raise yet. Taking Chanyeol words into account, I drive as slow as possible unlike usual me who’ll drive like a cheetah—even though cheetah will still be a winner against me—. As I drive along the almost empty street with a soft hum of song on the radio, the ride—or every ride—always take me back to the first time I put a grip on a steering wheel. It was Jimin’s black Jeep Grand Cherokee to be sacrificed as my practice car as I pleaded and literally sold my soul to Jimin so he would give me permission to use his car and wholeheartedly begging his willingness to teach me how to drive.

“Why don’t you ask Chanyeol to do it for you?” Jimin asked me at that time after emptying his fourth cups of chocolate ice cream I bought as my attempt to blackmail him which was successful.

Nothing would ever describe how I didn’t like the idea of having Chanyeol as my driving tutor, no specific reason though. So, the next day I drove Jimin’s Jeep as smooth as possible and thought it would be easy to master the driving lesson. Then five days later had proved me otherwise. A very visible bump was shown as a result of my reckless drive. Jimin was surprisingly bought a new car the next month instead of fixing the bump, said that the Jeep isn’t manly enough for him and purchased a black Land Rover. He also got me a rented car for lesson.

After two months suffering of becoming my driving tutor, Jimin finally told me that I could able to drive by myself. Rented the car for another months to smooth my driving ability before brought myself out to buy a new one, of course with Chanyeol’s assist as he insisted. Later I know, a beautiful silver Mercedes-Benz AMG SL-65 was parked at the basement of my apartment. Chanyeol had asked me as to why I bought that car to which I simply replied with,

“Personal taste.” I said, while deep down I was fully aware of the real reason which was ‘ _I want to have the same car as Seokjin’s, at least I have his personal taste in me_.’.

It is almost 7.00 AM when I stop for a coffee and the sunrise is around the corner. The 24 hours coffee shop is full with people regardless the early hour so I can hardly find a spot to sit. After pay one cup of hot vanilla latte, I walk down the slippery path towards my car and slide in to the driver seat carefully. I take off my mittens—yes, the mittens Seokjin had bought for me from Stockholm, don’t you dare to ask which mittens—so I can easily sip my coffee. But instead to drink it, my cup stop middle way as I catch a glimpse of another Mercedes leaving the parking lot. The same Mercedes as mine. To my unfortunate, I don’t get a time to read its license plate. My heart says that is Seokjin’s car and Seokjin is there driving it, but my head says anyone can purchase the same car as you two, it’s not like you both are rich or something there are plenty of people who are richer than you. And I bring myself to believe what my head says.

Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop is visible ten meters away and I pull to park in front of it. I climb the stairs while texting my father saying I will give him a visit by lunch at his office to which he replies with a simple _Yes_ and a smiley face beside it. 8.15 AM and as my expectation, Mr. Cha forget to change the sign from CLOSE to OPEN seeing his place is empty.

“No wonder why people do not stop by and come, you forgot to turn the si-“ My words are being cut off as the view in front of me is beyond shocking.

It is not only Mr. Cha who looks up to meet my gaze after my unfinished inappropriate and long morning greet, but there is also Seokjin with vintage croissant in hand. Kim _freaking_ Seokjin is here. I believe my feet are deadly frozen in place because I can’t walk closer nor escaping the place as I want to. I change my gaze up from Seokjin to the shrugging Mr. Cha. He doesn’t know why Seokjin is here too.

“S-Seokjin, what are you doing here?” I ask walking closer slowly.

“What are you doing here?” Shockingly, Seokjin asks the same question nonchalantly as if my presence doesn’t seem to surprise him at all.

And I stop the words from coming out, since I know where will it lead us to. So instead of answering his question with ‘ _I always come here, you pathetic moron! Because I couldn’t find a better place to freely talk about you and what you had done to my heart!_ ’, I calmly take a seat beside him, exactly beside him pushing a bag of sweater forward to Mr. Cha.

“I come to deliver this. Stay warm, Mr. Cha. And seeing you have a guest, I’ll excuse myself.” I stand abruptly but do not fast enough when I feel Seokjin hand stop me from going.

“I’ll leave.” Seokjin says.

“Oh, come on!” Mr. Cha—the third wheel of the scene—bickers, “Don’t start to act like it’s a drama scene. So, what’s wrong if you two sit down here, enjoying my delicious breakfast, and recall the best moment?!” Mr. Cha exclaims, “You two are not enemy to each other the last time I remember.” He adds turning his body and shoving a plate of freshly cooked soufflé omelette in front of me.

“How did you know I’ll come?” I ask the question more to Mr. Cha because I didn’t tell him I’ll come.

Mr. Cha takes a quick glance towards Seokjin direction before shrugs, “My hunch never betrays me.” Just like that, he walks out from the scene with bag full of warm sweaters and leaving me alone with hungry Seokjin. Who knows, he will probably devour me as his breakfast seeing how eager he is to emptying his plate.

“Can you ever slowing down your speed when you eat?” I ask after starting to get annoyed by the sound of Seokjin munching on his last piece of croissant.

“It’s delicious!” Seokjin says in a high pitched voice, “Can’t take it slowly when something delicious is coming down my throat.”

“Ew, gross.” I end the conversation as I bring up the first fork of my omelette, “Seriously, what are you doing here?” I ask again, blame my curiosity.

Seokjin stops his activity altogether and annoyingly stares at me, “Can’t I have my own breakfast everywhere I want?”

I scoff trying to not believe what he says, “There are plenty of good place for breakfast at Westergold. Seeing you have stayed there for ten months makes it can not be trusted that you don’t know any those places.”

“I worked, not roaming around the city to find a nice place to eat. Besides, I need some kind of memor-“ Seokjin stops abruptly.

“Some kind of what?” I ask.

“S-solitude.” He replies cleaning up his mouth and hands.

“Memories?” I ask. Seokjin looks up to meet my gaze.

I can sense his effort to object the question but the truth is already being spoken. His words cut off when he said ‘ _memor-_ ‘ and it sounds different with _‘Solitude_ ’. He cannot lie about this, so do I. At this moment, I guess I can have a friendly talk with Seokjin and just say something like ‘ _Let’s be honest to each other, you are not moving aren’t you?_ ’ probably add with a little teasing and elbowing each other but as the scene replays inside my head, that doesn’t seem right. So, we just sit side by side in silent. Him with his unfinished hot chocolate and me with my unfinished omelette and the urge to pee. Seokjin startled when I stand up in hurry.

“Where are you going?” Seokjin asks, his gaze follows my pace.

“Bathroom. You’re in?” I ask Seokjin and the question is being answered by a soft chuckle and a shaking head, “Hey, Mr. Cha. I need your bathroom.”

Mr. Cha comes out from the kitchen bringing along with him some snacks and I can see in a glimpse he wears one of the sweaters as he nods eagerly. I can also hear Seokjin’s voice faintly as I run down the hall, he asks ‘ _Is she often coming here?_ ’ to which Mr. Cha answers with a single ‘ _Yes_ ’. Good, at least I’m not embarrassing myself out because it looks like I’m stalking him. Few minutes later my entrance is being welcomed by not only Seokjin and Mr. Cha, but also few of Mr. Cha’s new and loyal costumers.

“See, the sign does matter. You can’t always forget about it, Mr. Cha.”

Mr. Cha laughs it off, “Yeah, sure. You two will be fine alone? I have some costumers to serve.”

I nod, “Sure.”

As Mr. Cha leaves for his duty, I sense Seokjin’s gaze on me the whole time soon I realize that he has been looking at me the moment I came back from bathroom, so I look at him and meet him in the eye. This is not my first time meeting his gaze, but somehow it feels strange and weird. There I silently curse myself for looking at him because the next thing I know is my tears rolling down along with his, without any specific reason. We eventually break the gaze when the tears are unbearable.

“Can you do me a favor, Yoonjin?” Seokjin asks after making sure there is no trace of sadness on his face and he smiles, a forced one.

“What is it?” My voice breaks after the presence of some unwanted tears.

“Don’t do the same mistakes like I did. Don’t let your ego wins over your feeling. Sometimes, listening to what your heart says is more important than listening to your brain.”

I frown, “What do you mean?”

“If you want stars, asking for the stars. Don’t keep your mouth shut.” He leans forward kissing the top of my head, “I wish you told me instead. Goodbye, Yoonjin.”

His words kept ringing inside my head until I realize Seokjin is nowhere beside me. I look behind my shoulder to have Seokjin’s back slowly fades away. Something inside me told me to stay, I don’t even understand what did he mean but something which is quite the opposite shouts a bit louder. I should go after him even if I don’t understand every single thing he said before. That thing—the louder one—makes me stand up on my feet and run nearly bump into an elderly woman with two hot sauces in hand. The moment I reach Mr. Cha’s doorway, I come face to face with something that I expect before. Seokjin inside his car with face on the window and shouts,

“I’ll drive you back to Westergold.”

I smile, mainly because he is just unconsciously bringing the moment back when we broke up. He said, I should be treated well even that was his last time. The truth is that time was not his last time. I walk towards his car to reduce the need for me to shout.

“I’m fine, Seokjin. You go.”

And all he does is just nod and smile probably remember about his wife, “Yeah, I better be get going. Take care, will you?”

I firmly nod slightly disappoint when he’s not trying to make me come with him, “I will. Thanks though.”

 _Once a gentleman, always be a gentleman_. I think as I look up to see the back of his car disappears before making my way in to Mr. Cha’s again. As I take a seat back, suddenly Seokjin’s voice comes back and rings in my head.

_Don’t do the same mistakes like I did. Don’t let your ego wins over your feeling. Sometimes, listening to what your heart says is more important than listening to your brain. If you want stars, asking for the stars. Don’t keep your mouth shut. I wish you told me instead._

“ _’I wish you told me instead’_? What the hell does he mean?”

“Does your brain damage? Or it is a new _doctor_ thing?” Mr. Cha’s comes in front of me with an exhausted sigh. He gets himself so many costumers today despite of cold weather. I can almost hear chattering teeth all over the room.

“What?” I ask furrowing.

“You, talking to yourself.” Mr. Cha shrugs as he picks Seokjin’s plate.

“Oh.” I let out a soft chuckle, “It’s nothing.”

The clock flashes on eleven AM when I arrive at my father’s main office. He greets me fifteen minutes later as we are heading to restaurant. We share some funny stories both about our daily activities and our jobs. We find it really refreshing when we get to sit and talk to each other and it also feels comfortable. Too comfortable, in fact, to the point Kim Seokjin’s name slip out from my mouth as I accidentally reveal that I just met him few hours ago down at Mr. Cha’s.

“You met him?” That was my father’s question which is following my earlier story, however I know he has more than one question to ask.

So the story start from the moment my eyes laid on Seokjin’s wife helpless figure and end with my accidental encounter with him. My lunch time comes to an end with a firm warning from my father. He says that Seokjin’s marital status should’ve been enough to give me a sign to stay away from Seokjin which I completely agree even though the kiss moment we shared up at hospital’s seventh floor balcony cannot easily be forgotten. Remembering my shift start at three, I excuse myself when my lunch is over. I hit the road after drop my father back to his office and give him a hug.

However, as soon as I get back to the hospital Chanyeol is running down the hallways as he takes his white lab coat off along the way and tosses it randomly across the room after reaches out for his car key. I manage to stop him when he nearly bumps into me at the front door.

“What the _hell_ happen?”

Chanyeol looks like he just got strike by a hurricane when he comes face to face with me, “Drive! Silverlake! Now!”

I’m still standing with mouth open still don’t catch the whole situation, “Do I have to ride with you?” I shout due to our distance.

Chanyeol turns his back running backward and shouts back, “We drive separately!”

“What?! Why?!”

“Shinyoung’s room empty!”

“And why should we drive down four hours to Silverlake?”

“My friend called saying they just received a patient with Westergold’s hospital dress at two PM!”

_to be continued_


	7. MIRACLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A miracle worker tends to work their job in private. Never expose themselves, unless it’s necessary. This time, or I can say, the first time of my life I can see a miracle worker in front of my face. And this person is not someone I expected to be.

I do remember clearly as to why I wanted to be a doctor. There are so many reasons, but that is not include drive down four hours away to another city because my fiance’s patient who is happen to be my ex-boyfriend’s wife is being ‘abducted’ despite of her weakened state. To be honest, I’m worried about it but half of myself wish that this is not happening. Not having a clue due to the event is running ever so quickly, I dial Chanyeol’s number after putting headsets on. He answers it immediately.

“Care to tell me what’s going on?!” I ask in hurry, fixing my gaze forward to the backside of Chanyeol’s car.

“I believe it’s not the right time, Love.” Chanyeol says almost hang up the phone before I manage to make him retreat his action.

“I’m looking directly at your car and having Silverlake as destination on my GPS, but I have no idea what’s going on?”

Chanyeol takes a deep breath but keep his speed as steady as possible, “I was about to check Shinyoung before lunch but she was not there, of course I panicked you know I get easily panic when something is wrong. I mean, I cannot lose my patient! Not under my control! I tried to reach Seokjin’s phone when my friend rang me at two. He said, an unconscious woman with Westergold’s hospital dress just been brought to Silverlake General Hospital, the hospital he works at. I knew that was Shinyoung.”

I take a deep breath as I can easily understand what Chanyeol means, “But why we drive separately?”

“In case one of us need to stay.”

 _In case one of us need to stay_? I get pretty confuse with the whole situation as if it is an unclear image. Despite of everything, I do my best to keep on track and drive to Silverlake with GPS as my guide since Chanyeol decides to accelerate the speed.

By the time we arrive there, it is almost seven PM and the sky is getting darker. Chanyeol is already at the lobby meets his friend whom call him few hours ago. I come to say ‘hi’ few minutes later after picking a good parking space.

“Hi, I’m-“

“Lee Yoonjin. I know. Chanyeol’s fiance and main discussion.” The guy smiles reaching for my hands, “Kim Joonmyeon. Your fellow gynecologist.”

“Oh, nice to meet you.” I reply and smile at him back.

“So, where are they?” Chanyeol eventually asks leading us the way up to the room Joonmyeon pointed.

Along the pace, Joonmyeon tells us that the guy who brought the woman seemed a bit desperate and nearly cried when he begged him for a room with the same equipments to keep her alive. They granted his wish even though it broke their protocol.

“I personally handle this because I know, she is from your hospital.” Joonmyeon adds opening the front door which leads to Shinyoung room.

“Well, technically the hospital is not mine.” Chanyeol replies and even though we know he ain’t joking, we let a soft giggle.

“How is she, though?” I ask suddenly feeling concern.

Joonmyeon shakes his head with a hand on the door handle ready to open it, “Bad.”

The sight is finally revealed. Seokjin sits with his head hang down low probably feeling guilty or just tired, while Shinyoung is laying helplessly above the bed with blanket is being lifted up to her stomach. The sound of heart monitor is the only music of this room. It is quite hard to examine everything especially when Chanyeol takes three big steps in and grabs Seokjin by the collar of his coat furiously. It is too late for either me and Joonmyeon to stop Chanyeol from fighting or worse.

“You son of a _bitch_! What the _hell_ did you do?!” Chanyeol looks more angry than he should and he doesn’t give Seokjin time to answer, “She could’ve been dead! Because of you! She is my patient! She is my responsibility!”

There I see after all this time Chanyeol’s sessions with his psychologist are wasted. He still can’t hold his anger and I have no option but interfere it, otherwise Seokjin could end up get beaten and there are no way out of it once Chanyeol is out of control. I take a step forward and bring Chanyeol step backward a little, his eyes are red.

“I can’t take it!” Seokjin shouts almost as loud as Chanyeol’s voice earlier which taken us aback, “To see her everyday and knowing that she is not mine anymore!” Seokjin still shouts fixing his gaze on Chanyeol while we are know who is he talking about, “There I say it! I’m still in love with your fiancee!”

Chanyeol slowly takes another step back without me make him to do that and I can’t do anything about it. Seokjin’s words get me paralyzed and if there are no one in this room I might be fall on my knees and break down crying. But I have to get my own composure and think about what should I do now. However, before I finish with my thinking Chanyeol do the action.

“Let’s talk in private.” He says taking Seokjin by the shoulder and lead him the way out with a surprisingly gentle voice and gesture. Seokjin takes a deep breath before nods and follows him.

I’m about to turn and leave before I meet Joonmyeon shock expression. I completely forget about his existence, “Oh my God, Joonmyeon. I’m deeply sorry about-“

“No need to worry.” Joonmyeon says panting. Have no clue why he looks so tired, “I don’t know what’s going on but I bet you need some caffeine seeing the situation seems a bit- how am I supposed to say it? Umm-“

“A bit tense?” I help him finishing the sentence, “It surely is _hell_.”

I end up having three cups of coffee and some deep conversations with Joonmyeon until we lose track of time. The night is getting deeper and colder so we take it inside as I put my mittens on my hands to prevent me from freezing. Joonmyeon excuses himself home after offering me his sleep room to which I decline mostly because I don’t want to leave Shinyoung’s side. I stare at Shinyoung’s sleeping figure while so many things going on inside my head and I have no intention to stop myself from thinking because having my brain work is the only thing that can keep me sane until tiredness hits me down to sleep beside Shinyoung.

The door is being opened as Chanyeol makes his entrance, waking me up from sleep. Examining from his expression and slightly relief when I catch no bruises on his face, that can only mean one thing, Chanyeol ended whatever he had with Seokjin peacefully. Chanyeol reaches for my head and kiss the top of it. And that very moment, Seokjin comes. He stops middle way almost retracts his step but we already look at him. He flashes an awkward smile before takes a seat across mine. The silenceness between us makes the atmosphere weirder, so I decide to leave the room, or at least that is what I _was_ trying to do because when I stand on my feet there is some noises coming from the only laying figure. Shinyoung. She is awake.

Chanyeol takes a step forward almost knock me down on the process and within seconds he is ready with stethoscope in hand, “Shinyoung? Say something.” He demands.

Clearly I can say she is trying to open her eyes and with both Chanyeol and Seokjin hover over her I have to squeeze myself further to get a better sight, “Shinyoung?” I call her name once, twice, and by the third times she finally awake. Blink few times before fully open her eyes, “Can you hear me?”

Her pupils move following the source of voice and weakly nod. I almost tear up but then I look up to smiling Seokjin whom already burst in tears. Don’t mean to ruin the happiness, I escort Seokjin outside to which he obeys gladly before I come back in and help Chanyeol to give Shinyoung a quick check. Everything about her is surprisingly stable knowing how her previous state was almost send her over the edge. She can communicate well even though there are no words yet, only face and other body part gestures. Few minutes later, I call Seokjin explaining that Shinyoung is getting better. Me and Chanyeol decide to leave them alone and the last sight I see is Seokjin reaches for Shinyoung’s hands and ready to kiss the back of it as I abruptly close the door, not wanting to see the scene.

“We have so many things in common.” Chanyeol suddenly says as we are going down to the hospital cafeteria for late dinner.

“Who?”

“Me and Seokjin.” Chanyeol chuckles probably aware how stupid that sounds, “We both look strong in the outside but get easily chickened out in the inside.” Again, he chuckles, “Oh and also, we love the same girl.” Judging by how clueless I am, he continues with, “You.”

“Oh, please.” I get suddenly annoyed by the statement, “He is married and _we_ are going to marry. We have a perfect life in our own way. Stop mix it just because Seokjin and I have history.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything about it, instead he looks down on me with unreadable expression before he pulls me in his embrace. It feels warm but it feels different like any other hugs he usually gives. It screams _goodbye_ in some way and I have to throw away that kind of thoughts as Chanyeol break the hug.

With less then four hours to sleep, Chanyeol and I decide to get back to Westergold the next morning after seeing that our presence is no longer needed. We give Seokjin and Shinyoung our last visit before get back to the city. Shinyoung is getting better and she can talk even clearer now.

“You are on the good hand, Shinyoung.” Chanyeol says patting his fellow gynecologist, Joonmyeon, on the back.

“Thank you.” Shinyoung says shortly even though we all know she has more to say than a simple ‘Thank you’.

On the other side, I can’t help myself to not looking away from where Seokjin’s hand is. It is holding Shinyoung’s hand. As firmly as possible as if he doesn’t want to let her go, so does she. No matter how hard I try to prevent myself from feeling jealous, it still hits me real hard. It will be better if a car just hit me instead. Seokjin slowly retreats his hand after realize where I’ve been staring at. I look up to find Seokjin’s awkward smile flashes across his face. She is his wife after all. I even now doubt about his feeling that he said he still in love with me and doesn’t even spare Shinyoung one spot.

“When will you come here again?” Shinyoung suddenly asks after he brief conversation with Chanyeol which I don’t hear because I was too busy staring at Seokjin’s and Shinyoung’s hand intertwined.

“I’m afraid I’m no longer needed here, Shinyoung. You’re Silverlake’s responsibility now.” Chanyeol replies with a smile.

“But you save my life.” She says again, weakly.

Chanyeol shakes his head, “You save yourself. We just give a little push.”

“We?”

“Me and Dr. Yoonjin.” Chanyeol caresses my back and I flash a smile towards her, “She is my little helper.”

“Yoonjin? Could it be- Lee Yoonjin? Seokjin’s college friend?”

My heart skips a beat when Shinyoung put my name with Seokjin’s in one same sentence. That can only mean one thing, she knows everything between me and Seokjin. She probably laughs now that she is the one who finally get Seokjin not me. However, I manage to answer Shinyoung’s question with a single but firm nod.

Shinyoung gives Seokjin a single knowing look and nods, “Finally, I able to put a name to a face.”

“Do- do you, by any chance, know about me?”

Shinyoung once again flashes a faint weak smile and nods, “In the most strange way you could ever imagine.”

I’m about to ask another question but Chanyeol warns me about the time and bid them a real farewell. Hard to say goodbye when it’s time for me to shake Seokjin’s hand. We let each other’s hand after he grips on my hand for a really long seconds. None of us want to let go but we have to. Ever after I turn my back, I can feel Seokjin’s eyes still on me wanting me to not leave. Because, _fuck_ I don’t want to leave. _I love him, I still do_.

* * *

One week after my visit to Silverlake and it’s already my days off. On my first day of it I usually exercise in the morning like run or finding a good spot on the bed, then have a quick lunch at the hospital to give Chanyeol company, and finally leave to Greenhollow to spend a night at my house and of course pay my exclusive visit at Mr. Cha’s. However, this time is a bit different. Instead of spending my morning time to exercise or snuggle up on the bed, I drive my _ass_ four hours away down to Silverlake. My gut tells me something about, pay Shinyoung a visit and talk with her to get rid of unknown feeling that has been haunted me since my second first encounter with Seokjin, and meet Seokjin is one of the risk I’m willing to take. Of course Chanyeol knows about it, because doing something sensitive like this behind his back is the last thing I want to do.

Upon to my call about my plan to visit Silverlake General Hospital, Joonmyeon had been waiting for me at the lobby and greet me when I arrive with two bags of special breakfast Chanyeol has brought for him. Joonmyeon escorts me to Shinyoung’s room and excuses himself after Shinyoung let me in. No Seokjin around, so it’s a good start.

“How are you? Better?” I ask taking a seat beside her laying figure.

“Dr. Joonmyeon takes a good care of me.” Shinyoung nods.

“Chanyeol said you are in the good hand. That man ain’t lying.”

She let out a soft chuckle, “If you come here to see Seokjin, he was leaving early in the morning. I don’t know where though. He just said that-“

“Shinyoung.” I say cut her off, “I come here to see you.”

She raises her eyebrows but smile eventually, “Seokjin was right.”

“About what?”

“About you.”

“Me?” I ask even more curious.

She nods, “Remember when I said, I know you in the most strange way you could ever imagine? Because Seokjin always mention your name every time we argued.”

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.”

She chuckles, “Don’t be silly. We argue every time. It feels less like a marriage, you know. Even though I admire his tendency to take care of me and still marry me even for the wrong reason.” Her voice comes weaker as she speaks, “Seokjin always said that a certain woman he knew would never do _this_ , would never do _that_ , would never speak like _this_ , would never speak like _that_. One day I was triggered by his statement and I ask who the _hell_ this woman is, and it’s apparently you. The name of Lee Yoonjin slipped out with every details come with it.” She ends it with smile.

“Okay, now I feel terrible.”

“The one who should feel terrible is me.” Shinyoung looks up staring at the ceiling, “Do you happen to know about my marriage, Doc? I feel like a _shit_ , well I guess I’m a _shit_. Playing around men and slept with them like a lunatic yet have a wonderful mesmerizing guy as a husband, I feel like I’m cheating the life. A woman like me shouldn’t be married with a man like Seokjin, that’s probably why we argue a lot. I got more frustrated when Seokjin refused to have se-“ She pauses but seeing there is no sign of me feeling disgust, she continues, “- s- sex with me. And he said he doesn’t love me. He only cares about me because I am his family’s close friend.”

“You’re that type of person who can easily spill the tea so fast.” I chuckle.

She laughs, “I can’t help it because the event makes me realize that- that Seokjin deserves someone better.” She finally looks at me.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean _you_.”

I shake my head, “I’m engaged.”

“So what?!”

“So w-“I get frustrated, “Look, Shinyoung. I don’t know what kind of _bullshit_ you’re trying to pull off, but I-“

“I’m trying to pull off a miracle. Not a _bullshit_.”

_to be continued_


	8. MIRACLE DOES HAPPEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s all about believing and stay true to yourself. No matter how hard your life path is, never give up. You’re gonna be okay and you’ll be okay.

_Flash forward_

 

The beginning of November comes along with a notice that makes its way inside my almost full email. The notice says something about “Book Signing Event and Author Anniversary Gala” and I happen to be invited as a VVIP guest. That is a surprise considering about everything that ever happened in our lives. Despite of that thought, I check ‘Yes’ on RSVP and send back the email to its sender with a smile.

Fifteen minutes later, I walk in to the closet only to be confused on what should I wearing for the event seeing my belly bump is getting bigger since the last month. My husband did say I look good in blue but that dress doesn’t fit on me anymore, so I text him and ask what should I wear to the Gala? He replies a minute later with a single ‘Let’s go on shopping’. So, it’s settled. The dress will be new, not the old blue one.

After make sure about the outfit, I move to the next thing I should prepare. The book. If I forget to bring this little fella, then what is Signing Event for? I look around the book that I just bought three days ago and open it straight to the last page, the ‘Thanks to’ section where I find my name on it. It’s written:

_To Doctor Lee Yoonjin, the brightest oncologyst whom taught me the art of turning enemy into lover into best buddies, elegantly._

 

_End of flash forward_

 

It has been a month since my last visit to Silverlake but Shinyoung’s words keep ringing inside my head, that’s why I refused when Chanyeol asked me to come with him on the day Shinyoung was permitted to go home. Mainly because I have to prevent myself from seeing Seokjin and forget whatever Shinyoung’s agenda. There is no way I can go back with Seokjin, that is the craziest idea especially when it comes from his own wife.

On top of that, these few days—after I rejected Chanyeol’s offer—has been some difficult days for me to meet Chanyeol. He is basically disappearing from my daily basis. The only place for us to meet is hospital. No more dinner dates, movie dates, and any other dates. In fact, Jimin feels more likely my fiance than Chanyeol. Jimin will show up in front of my apartment door with Chinese take outs almost every nights. Another day at the hospital and I decide to actually talk to Chanyeol, maybe ask him what’s wrong and what happen to him. I hope I can earn some answers to my questions.

“No, I’m okay.” Chanyeol says with a shrug as he focus on his salad. Since when he grows fond of lettuces and tomatoes?

“You are not. I know.” I say with a hiss and maybe he catches me feeling annoyed so he lifts up his face to meet my gaze.

“Quite being a psychic.”

“I’m not. Just a bit bothered by those green and red stuffs.”

Chanyeol looks down and chuckles right after, “I’m about to get shaped.”

“For what?”

“For my new book.” He answers with a grin.

“Are you seriously gonna put yourself on your book cover? Again?!”

Chanyeol laughs and nods firmly, “Well, no one objects the idea though.”

“Well, I am.” I say laughing in the end, “Where have you been, Yeol?”

Chanyeol looks pretty confused, “I am here.”

“You’ve been missing. I mean, your last days off. Where have you been?”

“Give Shinyoung a visit.”

“No that’s few days before your days off. Come on, quite lying!”

“I have some business for my upcoming book.” Chanyeol answers, but I find it hard to believe that.

“Research?”

“Kind of.” He says back on his salad.

“Do you hide anything from me, Yeol?”

He looks up and smile, “Do you?” Then he stands up so quickly even I can’t prevent him from going, leaving me confused at the cafeteria, alone.

The day gets even weirder when I receive what seems like an urgent text message from Shinyoung. She personally asks to meet me at a certain place. She also says that she wishes to meet me on my days off so she will not disturb my work. I reply it with a short ‘Ok’ and tell her my days off is couple weeks later. When I ask her what happen and what she want to talk about, she answers with ‘You’ll find out later’.

It’s my turn to accidentally avoid Chanyeol every time we have moment to meet or to be just together for awhile and Chanyeol seems to get the signal of me avoiding most of that time. I have no intention to get revenge on him whatsoever, but the situation makes me to. In order to focus on what Shinyoung has on her agenda, I have to cut most of my social interaction because all of my energy has been reduced by my usual interaction with patients and their families. No drama means stay away as far as possible with those whom personally related to my life.

Weeks with no Chanyeol around becomes my habit and without me knowing it’s already my days off in the beginning of spring. Chanyeol calls me first in the morning and ask about my plan today. I simply answer with going on to meet Shinyoung, which seems like the answer _relieved_ him, or at least that what I heard when he said ‘Oh well, that’s good’. As I get ready, Shinyoung text me the address and with a quick glimpse of it I specifically know the place. In fact, the place is too familiar. It’s Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop. I stop everything and re-read the texts, observe the way those texts are written and I find no suspicious sign. The texts are coming from Shinyoung. I call her to just make sure she sent me the right address.

“Yeah, that’s the place.” She says over the phone, “In fact, I’m on my way.”

“How do you know about the place?”

“Everybody knows it, Yoonjin. It’s a famous place in Greenhollow.”

 _Well that’s right though_ , “O-Okay then.”

“See you later.”

Wait, did she just say she is on her way? Is she drive alone? Wait a minute- and why her surrounding does not feel like she is on _her way_? It more like she is sleeping in her bedroom because everything was silent.

Despite of everything that finally comes suspicious, I find myself park my car in front of Mr. Cha’s vintage coffee shop two hours later. No sign of other car. Perhaps she still on _her way_. Afraid of the possibility she won’t come, I dial her number and immediately drop on my knees when I heard someone says ‘The number you are calling cannot be reached at the moment. Please try again later’. Too bad I probably can’t try to call her again because I meet a familiar figure the moment I open the door. The wide shoulder is facing me and I immediately recognize him.

“S- Seokjin?”

Because there is no one but us in this place, my whisper can be heard. And as I expect, he looks surprise to see me. He spins around the chair and walks closer to where I stand.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“What are _you_ doing here? Are you stalking me _again_?”

“Again?! When did I- Where’s him?”

“Him who?!” I get confused.

“Your _freaking_ fiance! The almighty Dr. Park Chanyeol. Where the _hell_ is he?”

“I don’t know, whe- Wait a minute.” I pause and ask him to stop yelling too because I am as confused as he is, “I come here because Shinyoung asked me to.”

“What? She doesn’t even know this place is exist.”

“Can you _shut_ up?!” I yell trying to put two and two together, “Shinyoung told me to come here-“

“And Chanyeol told me to come here too.” Seokjin completes the sentence.

Is that why Chanyeol sounded a bit relieved earlier? Did he think his plan or Shinyoung’s plan or whatever it is works on us? Did Chanyeol and Shinyoung set up all this? Think back, the place is empty and how can I didn’t notice a sign ‘RESERVED’ outside?

“Oh my God.” I take a seat at the nearest chair as Seokjin does the same too, he takes one across mine.

“Did they actually do it? I can’t reach Chanyeol so I can’t ask him.” Seokjin sounds really confused, that means he doesn’t know what’s going on too. So, he is not lying.

“Why did they do this to us?” I ask, more to myself but it seems like Seokjin thinks the question need to be answered.

“I probably know.” Seokjin takes a deep breath, “Even though I can hardly find its relation to what is going on right now.”

“What?! What happened?!” I turn to look up at his face and read his mixed expression.

“A week after Shinyoung came back home, she wrote a divorce petition without me knowing. All I know is that I received the petition few days later and it’s apparently already filed in a state court.”

“Then?”

“I asked her, what was going on. And she said something like, I deserve someone better and then she went with she is a troubled person and she is a form of real dissapointment. I tried to toss the thought away but I couldn’t help myself to agree.”

“So?” My voice goes lower seeing this as a sensitive topic.

“I signed an acknowledgement of the receipt of service and I kinda filed a response to the petition saying I agreed to the divorce.”

I shake my head in disbelief, “So, the case will proceed without a court hearing?” I ask to which Seokjin nods in response, “How can you did that to her?!”

“Good thing I didn’t cheat on her.” Seokjin says and when I’m about to talk he cuts me off, “I don’t love her at the first place, but I don’t have a heart to end it right there. So I stayed and even took care of her even though she didn’t change her bad habit. And now, say it as a _good chance_ comes to me, why can’t I take it? I can’t live a miserable life, don’t I?”

 _He got a point_ , “So, you two are settled?”

Seokjin nods, “It seems like it. There is only a bit more paperwork to file though and I can’t let Shinyoung out from my house just like that. Her parents will come to pick her up by the end of the month. Bet they are mad at me.”

“Hey.” I accidentally touch Seokjin’s back hand but when I try to retract it Seokjin hold it with his other hand signaling me to don’t move, “I- I mean. Shinyoung is the one who filed the divorce petition not you. So, her parents don’t have a reason to mad at you, right?” I say rather awkwardly remembering my hand is still on his.

“Yeah, you got a point.” His eyes are on mine staring as if he admires something and he doesn’t blink rapidly but more like calmly and he tugs a soft smile on the curve of his lips. Seokjin takes my breath away and will always do.

“But why Chanyeol did the same too? I mean, you got yourself a reason but not me. It seems like Chanyeol and Shinyoung worked together. But why?!” I say desperately need an answer.

“I think you should seek your own answer and settle everything with Chanyeol.”

I furrow, “What do you mean?”

“I am already settled everything down with Shinyoung and just waiting for separation day, now it’s your turn.” Seokjin shrugs.

“Did you just ask me to break up?!”

“You’re never really moving on, aren’t you?” Seokjin replies calmly despite of my exploded rage.

“What do you mean?”

“Remember the day we accidentally met here? You went to the bathroom, right? That was when Mr. Cha accidentally spilled everything. Well, he trapped on my questions though and spilled the tea.”

My mind wanders back to when Seokjin said something like ‘ _Don’t do the same mistakes like I did. Don’t let your ego wins over your feeling. Sometimes, listening to what your heart says is more important than listening to your brain. If you want stars, asking for the stars. Don’t keep your mouth shut. I wish you told me instead_ ’.

“What did exactly Mr. Cha say to you?”

“He said, you come here often and since our break up you didn’t stop talking about me and that you’re still in love with me even after you’re engage. Mr. Cha also stated that you were looking for me for the whole time only you don’t have a clue about my whereby then Mr. Cha told you or more like wished you a miracle.” Seokjin says and I don’t say anything so he continues, “Don’t ever lie to me about that, baby. That is true, right?”

“Well, I can’t lie about it.” I chuckle.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to see you grow independent and I just saw the possibility of being thrown away to the side and that you wouldn’t need me anymore because you could achieve everything without the need of someone else’s help. Only if I let you catch your dream.” Seokjin sighs.

“I’m sorry, too. I just can’t give my dream away like that because-“ I stop and Seokjin looks up to see me look down, “-because- be a doctor means honored my late mother.” I take a deep breath, “I didn’t say the real reason to you because I assume it as my weakest point.” I let out a bitter chuckle, “I’m sorry for let my dream separated us. I just love my mother very much.”

“I know it’s too late, but I understand.” Seokjin says caressing my cheek softly.

Eventually I look up, to meet his glistening which I feel like they are getting closer and closer until I can feel Seokjin’s breath near my face. His eyes move slowly down to my lips and to catch back my gaze only this time something is hidden behind that look to which I understand.

“I love you.” I say immediately before close the gap.

Our lips move in sync before he gently bite down on my lower lip and slips out his tounge after it. Then Seokjin reaches out for my hands, tugs them a bit signaling me to stand up without breaking the kiss. Then he pulls my waist down so that I sit on his lap. The position allows us to deepen the kiss as I circle my hands around his neck and his around my waist. We move our heads side to side before finally panting desperately need some air as we break the kiss.

“I’ve been dying to hear those words from you.” Seokjin faintly says as he put our forehead together, “And I love you too.”

I smile, “I need to talk to Chanyeol.”

“It won’t be hard, assuming he and Shinyoung worked together to get us to meet.” He says stealing a moment to give me a quick peck on the lips, “Let me know and we have to meet again after that.”

“Where?” I ask him to think about the place, because honestly I can’t think about anything right now but having Seokjin’s lips on mine again and that’s why I keep staring at it. How it moves delicately every time he speaks, how plump and red it is especially after our kiss earlier.

“What could be a better place than this?”

“Agree.” I say and about to kiss him again before he speaks.

“Should I get down on my knees when we meet again later?”

“You just get divorce, you silly! Wait until the period time is over.” I says playfully hitting on his chest.

* * *

 

I met Chanyeol the next day at lunch, I packed him some food earlier this morning and he accepts it gratefully, even welcomes me with a hug and a quick kiss on the head. Chanyeol eats the food deliciously, he even compliment the way I cooked them. It’s hard to say about yesterday so I keep on smiling and silent. Only nod or shake my head when he asks and laughs along when he says something funny. But the next question gets me frozen.

“Everything was okay with Seokjin yesterday?” Chanyeol asks without looking at me.

“Y- How- You- Did you really do that? With Shinyoung?”

Chanyeol finally looks up and smiles, “Yeah.”

Even though the answer is the one I expected but I still feel surprise, “Why?”

“It was all Shinyoung idea. I refused at first and wanted to keep you by myself but the more I think about it the more I find it to be true. Think back, you never look at me the way you look at Seokjin. And that is strengthened with Shinyoung’s story about Mr. Cha told Seokjin that you often come to the vintage coffee shop to tell him that you can’t move on from Seokjin.”

“Chanyeol, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” Chanyeol let out a bitter laugh, “I’m the one who should be sorry for not knowing about your heart and too busy with work. Too busy to understand every reasons behind your words and movements, especially when you never tag me along every time you go to that vintage coffee shop. It filled with your memories with Seokjin, right? Afraid that I might take his spot?”

“Now, I feel horrible.”

“You sacrificed too much, Love.” Chanyeol says taking my hands and grabs them sweetly, “Allow me to sacrifice mine this time.” His eyes begin to tear up, “Promise me, be happy. Don’t let your ego wins over everything. Think about your happiness and slowing down a bit on your career, alright?”

“I-“

“Your mother will be so proud.”

“Oh my God, Chanyeol.” I burst into cry and Chanyeol run to my side giving me a big warm hug.

“I’ll say it for the last time.” Chanyeol takes a deep breath, “I love you, Yoonjin.”

_to be continued_

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The story occurs in current year by assuming all characters are already on their 30s (excludes flashback timeline), in order to fit in with story timeline. The series of WINGS are named after Caelum Academy for the Arcane. Bonus! Fun fact! OC female character is named after one of my favorite ships after Namjin. I’ve always had a thing on Yoongi × Jin. Please forgive me.


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